Life As It Is

Finally blogging again.. Summing up the week?

2012-02-01T11:22:00.000+08:00

I find it's been rather long since I've last posted something here.. Heh.. What to do? I only write my blog posts when I have the sense of security of being alone in my room and no one to look at what I'm typing.. No.. I'm not shy.. I just feel awkward in a sense that I have someone looking at what I type.. I abhor that..!

It's been a great CNY for me.. went back to Malacca for 4 days, if I'm not mistaken. Collected ang paus and all that.. but what really mattered was the fellowship with among family members. Really had a good time together... And if you wanna know about how much I collected... its RM400.. no more, no less. So chun!xD.

Then school starts again.. for only 2 days? And then it's Hari Wilayah for all the KL and whatever other Wilayahs there are.. Sad for the ones outside of KL.. but I believe they have their own hols which we KL people don't. Only then it is considered fair right?? Heh.

Another surprise came as well, which was that Jeremy Loo asked me if I wanna go on a mission trip after SPM. Without hesitation, I said yes. Why? It's been what I've always been longing to do! I know that I might not survive the food and seclusion and isolation in those areas.. but I will just have to make do for the sake of His kingdom. It's always worth it! Initially, the plan was to go to Turkey.. but.. expensive laa... so now we're most probably be going to East Malaysia and minister there. BUT. Yes, a big but. We gotta pray hard that we won't be involved in the National Service after SPM, because it will hinder us from going on this mission trip right? So yeah.. God, don't let me get into NS! ><!

Today marks the 1st day of February. What's so special? Nothing special.. it's only gonna end in a horrible way I suppose.. Ujian Selaras comes at the end of the month.. Le sigh ><. I know that I'll be receiving bad results for my Ujian Selaras and Mid-Term exam because I've not gone through the whole of my F4 syllabus.. so I'll definitely fail a few right? Hehh.. But I resolve to be getting flying results in my Trials and SPM. Flying in a way that it is around B-A grades. xD.

Other than that, Feb also holds the upcoming KL/PJ SCF Convention! (Yayy!!~). Can't wait for that day. It will be on the 18th and I'll be sleeping over at Matt's house on the 17th.. Looking forward to the supposedly-great-and-posh-dinner and the whole night of CC-ing? Haha.. yeahh.. CC! =D.

Okay, okay. Let me just end with how the day started for me... My mind welcomed the new month with a sweet dream (Oh really?), yeah really.. But no matter how sweet it was, it was heartbreaking for me. My mind depicted so many things I've ever wanted to have(not gonna say what.. too private heh). It's what I love and I really want so badly.. but the fact remains that to gain all those is just, well.. impossible. I woke up feeling downcast and forlorn recalling that dream.. How I wish it will only come true.. But what can I do? I can't move the Hand of God once He has made His decision. And I remind myself about what (or more like WHO) am I living for. Well.. truth be told, I don't live for God. I'd die for him. I'd only live for love. And that's all I want to live for.

Cheer up, don't go feeling sorry for me about the above post. Nothing you and I can do there. It's all in His hands... Soo... His will be done =).

Still heartbroken,
James Nareik

Abandon Hope, Watch It Burn

2012-01-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

To take upon myself the burden never to carry,
To have taken the liberty to love you,
To imagine upon a future bright and merry,
But reality comes crashing down anew.

If only I had knew from the start,
That these two cars will never collide,
I would never have taken a beat to the heart,
And never in my emotions have confide.

Abandon hope and watch it burn,
All I knew now in shambles,
The tides have now already turn,
Skewering my soul against the brambles.

I should never have given my heart away,
If I had known that we will never be,
We could have then gone our separate ways,
Than have another broken me.

As I lie down and watch the stars above,
I can't help knowing you see the same,
If my thoughts of you isn't of love,
Then I can give it no other name.

As the rain falls down across the distance,
I see of it as the bridge between us,
If the rain can offer me resistance,
I would already do what I must.

I can wait no longer to say,
Than to have you know the way I feel of you,
If it can also make you feel the same way,
Then just let me say that I have loved you.

But if it never was, never is, never will be,
It is pointless to say it even now,
For even the skies separate you and me,
I will never again say the word "How?"

Gone with the wind,
James Nareik

Horrifying Monday

2012-01-16T17:18:00.017+08:00

Title speaks it. It's not horrifying in the sense that it is scary or what... but I'm just gonna use that term. Was a bad-like-heck day la... Like seriously... what the crap?

Wake up in the morning already so darn hectic, my tie went missing... making me arrive late to school, had to go buy a new tie and the annoyance of having to tie it.. @@...

Then later in the day, during choral speaking practice, teacher wants us to get a pair of jeans, white school shoes, school tie, black belt, etc. Not making a big fuss.. But I've no jeans, no shoes, and not the slightest want to go ahead and borrow from people.. Took the liberty to buy it... That's not the case... I had sport house practice, making me leave school with a annoying case of migraine due to the freaking hot weather... Went to Jusco at first, nevermind.. headache was really a pain in the head... then I had to get my shoes.. went all the way back to my housing area to a shop there... bought the shoes, walk back to the car to find one bugger has parked his motorcycle behind my mom's car. Damn pissed I tell you..! Headache like crap summore... mom horn didn't even respond... Took the liberty to move his freaking motorcycle out of the way.. and it toppled over and landed on the road. I should have left it lying there. Darn incosiderate pig of a man....

Another thing that happened in school was the announcement by our Form 5 supervisor.. coming into my class and asking if anyone takes a subject out of the timetable. Accounts and Econs students made their claim and etc. When asked why, he came and tell us that the MOE will be limiting our SPM subjects to 10. We can still take 11-12 subjects if we want to.. but they will not be looked at, whatever the heck that means. So its like... BK, Accounts, Econs, Chinese, EL... all those optional subjects, which is not included in first 10 subjects will not be looked at.

Define: Looked at? It can be ranging to not being marked to not being considered as an academic qualification when applying for scholarships to not being printed in our exam slips. This are just the possibilities that I came up with.. but still.. what the heck?

Screw this up man.. Sometimes.. One just views the end of the world isn't so bad after all, with the world screwing up like this. Fine, forget the world. This country is so screwed up.

Annoyed,
James Nareik

Saturday And Sunday

2012-01-15T17:27:00.000+08:00

Imma just sum up the two days into one post.

The weekend has been quite fun... As usual la.. fun people like me sure have fun all the time xD. So yesterday, Saturday was the first YA! meeting of the year! Whoo!!~. As usual, worship coordinator takes the first worship session... Though I couldn't try something new, the worship went on pretty well. Doesn't matter anyway. Glory goes to God alone. Then Mr. Joshua Low, *akhem* gave a "speech". Very lame summore... usual la.. the president very lame... Then we had games... very random and well.. had a good laugh la.. Then there was the sharing and refreshments! Oh the best time of all! Fooood!!~ =D. eat to our heart's content =d

Sunday leh... usual things went on.. BUT, then Jay Yen got surprised... wah.. he saw the cake when Unc. Gan brought it in and we sang the Brithday Song... He looks like he gonna cry tears of joy xD. Nothing much after that, except the jokes and the fun time during bible study. Then now.. just finished my Uniform Sales accounts.. Print it tonight and hand it to the teacher advisor. Now.. I'm free for the rest of the day! Joy!

Lacking inspiration,
James Nareik

1st Chapel Service of 2012

2012-01-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

Today (11/01/12) marks the first ever Chapel Service of the year 2012. That being said I was given the honour to play the drums for the Senior's side today. Though I was rusty, I figured I played well enough, only because God enabled me to. Praise Him, the worship went well.

Overall, the chapel service went smoothly in my opinion. The new theme song for the first half of the year was introduced. The song is "God Will Take Care Of You" and that is literally our theme, you can say.

On a sidetrack, we have a crazy lot of homework these days... what to do? It is all part and parcel of the Form 5 life.. Even now as I'm typing this, I keep recalling that I have Modern Maths homework which is still undone.. Gonna do it after posting this.

There was an incident today which really made me fish to the max. Ordered pizza for dinner, the delivery man handed me everything, and I, in my indecent blurness kept asking the guy for my Coke, not knowing it was already in my hand until it pointed it out.. Paisehhhh!! xD. On a plus side, my mom refreshed my memory on how to write my Chinese name. Good enough for me, seemingly knowing that I'm "half a banana" as declared by Ms. Cheryl Peh. Heh!

That's all from me I guess.. Can't wait for Feb and March to come..!

Sayonara,
James Nareik

A Poem For The Week

2012-01-10T22:15:00.033+08:00

Aye, I've not been writing poems for quite some time, so I thought of writing one down. No clue on what to title it, but it might be one of the most beautiful poems I've ever written.. Here goes:

Hush, hush, the world falls in silence,

The dark night closes in,

Into a world filled with violence,

Tainted with man's first sin.

The piercing cries at dead night,

For hitherto, evil reigns,

And we the residents in helpless sight,

In our sins have all been slain.

But don't you fret little soul,

Keep the darkness at bay

Wait on Him and then you'll know,

That the night turns to day.

The cloudful sky might hinder light,

But for surely it clears to bring the bright,

And for the storm brings a dreadful gloom,

But after, a trimphful rainbow blooms.

Know this and be sure to keep,

For in inside us, hope exists,

A love was shown so, so deep,

On the cross, love persists.

The First Bad Day Of 2012

2012-01-09T17:20:00.001+08:00

Title says it all eh? Today sucked really badly.. honestly.. Arrived in school late.. for the first time in my whole life, I reached school at 0725 hours. Awesome right? Why? The cross junction at Jalan Ampang was closed for no apparent reason. Heck, even if it was because of the protest/demonstration, so what!? Dumb fools la.

Then went to school also had a bad stomach day.. Ugh.. It never occurred to me that the chillied beef that I had for dinner on Saturday would turn out to kill me, figuratively speaking. Ran to the toilet twice today in school.. horrible.. Other than that, my right knee hurts as well.. I have no idea about why it hurts, but it just does. Probably because I pulled a muscle somehow or that a nerve got caught in between the joints, causing it to ache whenever I bend my knee at an elevated angle.

On the way home, stupid, mindless drivers driving on the road, another road closed as well.. making it such a hassle.. just to turn into the street that would lead me home.. Nevermind that.. darn mindless lorry driver made the whole road stuck for like 5 minutes? How dumb can people be sometimes?

On a sidetrack, I'll keep the event personal, but what I'll state is this: Malaysia, forgive my language usage, is such an eff-ed up country, without doubt. Seriously, what on earth is the government doing? Racist remarks, doing stupid stuff... Giving PR and/or a Blue IC(Which states citizenship) to the Indonesian people. Why? So the Indons can vote for BN la. Scared to lose? No comments. One thing for sure, I believe that God will no stone unturned. Justice will be meted out, the government will go down one day, one way. I have faith. The wicked won't stand, only the righteous will. All the best la. But one thing for sure, if Malaysians don't come to realise that this country needs a change of rulers, this country is definitely a hellbound country.

Speaking The Truth,
James Nareik

Sunday Comes

2012-01-08T16:40:00.000+08:00

Sunday was as the norm. Nothing special happened, just went to church, joked around with friends, shared a few laughs here and there. It's a happy place la. I never fail to find myself at home in the House of the Lord. What a great place to be! =D

Bible study started as well, great to see the Form 4s coming to the class. Let's now see how they last with Uncle Eric xD. Another is that XEE session is gonna start for 1 cell group... and I'm gonna get involved. It's gonna last for 4 months, but sadly, I don't think my heart is in it.. The sessions are only gonna be like 1 hour per Sunday.. and they meet up like once a week.. how on earth are they gonna remember everything? Even so, the passion will surely die off and in the end, XEE is just gonna be a routine.. I highly disagree with this going on... But my objections were to no avail, and I have to attend... sigh..

Without eloquence,
James Nareik

1st Saturday of 2012

2012-01-07T23:30:00.010+08:00

Today has went by smoothly.. Didn't had much trouble with stuff.. took the liberty to study a bit of Sejarah.. hehe so semangat! =D.

After that, I came up with a modification of my resolution, allowing myself to play games on weekends because my weekends are too long to just study the day through. Still study la.. but not the whole day.. still game, and not the whole day either.

Today was also the commissioning service for Pastor David Low. Was a great service.. heard his testimony and all that. But above all, congratulations to Pastor David and all the best in the future. May God be with him all his life. =D

Nothing much la after that.. heh.

Just me,
James Nareik

A Post That I Almost Forgot To Post

2012-01-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Konnichiwa tomodachi!

This post is rather random, yes I know.. but ever since I stopped gaming... well.. yeah..I'm stopping gaming till my SPM is done, if you haven't yet known.. I've been keeping up with my blog ever since regardless of it being read or not. Just killing some time doing posts as significant and as random as any post I have xP.

Today wasn't much.. just the normal stuff going on in school.. Choral speaking practice was something different.. Mrs. Ramani can go and rage about you.. but at the end of the day, you've gotta admit the way she makes us do it is.. AWESOME! A strong trainer, she is.

We 3 stooges also went for lunch after school.. which took some time since Matt had a "small" meeting at which he left half way.. Because of that.. we only returned back to CF in time for the closing prayer.. =X.

The best part of the day was well.. completing the emcee script. Can't wait to edit and improve it.. then having to do it on the convention day to see how well it goes.. Kind of personal pride.. I know.. but I praise God for helping me write it, as well as Shuet Yen's script. I've yet to see hers.. Then after that.. we gonna exchange and edit each other's script to improve it and finalize it by merging!

Nothing much else happened after that.. Couldn't stand reading sej although I did read about like... 1 and a half pages? Heh. Meh.. that sucks xD.

Well, this is about all of it!

Oyasumi nasai! It's already 23:41.

Tired,

James Nareik

No-Idea-What-Title-To-Put Post

2012-01-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

Title says everything. No idea. LOL! Just kidding!xP.

Today was fine.. felt sleepy also la.. almost slept in BK class again.. Not used to Mrs. Lim yet.. Ms. Karen can kacau.. Mrs. Lim can't ma.. so well.. bored lo during BK class. Heh. Naught me. God forgive me ><.

Jeremy and I sat together today... VIK wasn't around.. no idea why... doesn't matter though.. we 2 stooges at the back there doing stupid and random stuff as usual and Jeremy.. already starting to have to copy stuff from ME. How awesome is that? It's only the 2nd day of school he has to start copying stuff already. xD.

After school, went to the library with Shuet Yen and Matthew to discuss about the emcee script. We kept flying from our discussion, to trash talk, and then back again. Played with the room door as well... Stupid door when locked, turn it hard to the left side, the door unlocks. Haha! Was fun to play la. But forget that, we got the guideline done, so now we're just gonna put the script into words, do like a double-editing then merge it and submit it to teacher for checking and there! We have a script! Also the only problem that we have is the icebreaker.. so many things we can do and can't decide about it. So... just need to refer to the committee and try to get the best done.

After that was lunch at the mamak store with Matthew.. nothing much.. sat down, talk crap as usual. Then the rest of the day was spent sleeping, waking up with gastric, did Add Maths revision and now blogging.. soon to get my script done. Thus said, was how the day went. Quite fun la! =D

Cheers!,
James Nareik

Back To School

2012-01-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

So yeah.. It's back to school again... quite wonderful to see my friends again heh.. Especially the 3 stooges.. Matthew, Jeremy and I. Big jokers la we all xD.

Today already got homework.. Add Maths on Arithmetic Progression.. Not that hard la.. quite "watery" if you get what I mean xP.

Rest was fine, had a meeting with the Chapel Comm. people concerning our plans for the year. All went well and fine... Except when 2 bottles of Coke came and Matthew and I got high on sugar rush. Fun!

Anyways, on a side note.. Feelings can subside over time. I find myself.. Well.. on a virtual wing of freedom from my own emotions.. Sometimes even truly free from it. Well, the sole purpose of knowing a person is to have them as a friend isn't it? So why not just stay friends till God decides if something bigger should impact us, aye?

More for the 2nd day of school... Gonna stay back again.. this type to prepare the script for the Convention with Shuet Yen. Confirm gonna be fun. Having some ideas for icebreaker(s) and with my oh-so-good lameness which was trained by Andrew Wong, I can make sure that this year's Convention is gonna be super lame! Just gotta make sure I control my talking speed though! Heh! =D

That's all for now.

Almost 17,
James Nareik

School Starts Again

2012-01-03T16:06:00.000+08:00

Whew! So I survived the long hols(long haul, geddit? =D) and then... it's already back to school.. I know many people don't want to go back to school.. Saying hols to short la, school boring la.. Aiyo.. Grow up la! Without out school, we will never know how to appreciate the holidays and event enjoyment or time-offs. Cherish the moment! Especially my peers. Last year of school ady wei! If you come back for Form 6.. different story la that one haha!

I haven't prepared myself for school yet.. bags still unpacked.. slips for P's Board still uncut.. or some not even stamped yet.. And even now.. I'm blogging in the midst of doing my EL homework.. >.>. Yep. Guilty xP.

I'm lazy to make another post so Imma just throw in all my thoughts in here as well... Sometimes I wonder why I have to have my heart given away to someone, unintentionally of course. If I had things my own way, I'd definitely wait for college or uni before giving it out.. after since.. well.. the last time.. Unrequited love is just painful sometimes.. But you know what they say.. The longer the distance, the heart grows fonder. Works literally for my situation.. So far away... So well.. the feeling's somewhat deeper, I guess. Can't help it.. It's not that I want to anyway!

But to see things in a different light, I can't help my situation.. I can only just sit back and pray about it.. But there's also a sense of hope. Surely we won't be kept apart from seeing each other wan ma! There'll definitely be the day where we'll be able to meet up. I'm just waiting for that day to come.. If only she'll understand that as well.. Nonetheless, let's not be hopeless now...

School's starting! You shouldn't be reading this! xP

Off To Do Homework,
James Nareik

Decisions And Complications

2012-01-02T20:29:00.000+08:00

In conjunction with the new year, my resolution was set up and apparently one so was to lose myself of my obsession with.. well.. ahem.. a special someone.. to me.. apparently.. Yeah.. love can be unrequited. BACK TO THE POINT!

Upon my decision, I felt this sudden feeling of unrest stirring with me, uncomfortable and guilty of what I am doing.. either towards the person or in general. I prayed and consulted God of this decision that I made and I finally saw a few things, which, well, spoke to me.

First of all there was this particular verse that popped up in my head at which Paul talks about the role of the conscience working together with the Spirit, where Paul says that the conscience will approve/support of what the Spirit wills. My conscience condemns me of my decision.

Secondly, I read a post where it says that "If your resolution is in line with God's will, you will receive help. But if it's not, you will not receive help". Apparently, I didn't receive help, in my own personal opinion. So there. Resolution banished.

Pushing all those aside, I really wanna thank Cheryl for the two words she gave me come 2012. They were "Ebenezer" and "Eirene" (Tempted to write it in Greek: Ειρενε). Ebenezer, is found in 1 Sam. 14 and it means "stone of help" which signifies God helping the Israelites all the while. "Eirene" however means "peace", which signifies the peace of God, as depicted in Phil. 4:7. Ebenezer was for 2011 and Eirene for 2012. What she meant was that God has been with me all the while, helping me throughout 2011 and God's peace will also follow me into 2012. Thank me for sharing this with you. xP. just kidding. I hope that all this does speak to you as it has spoken to me.

Oh oh!! As this day (2nd Jan 2012) comes to a close, I would proudly proclaim that I have stopped my gaming for exactly 2 days. Well.. thats 2 down then... 364 days to go! Well.. not really 364 la.. until SPM is gone with.

That's it for today I guess.. Hehe!

Signing off,

James Nareik

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T18:05:00.001+08:00

Well, first and foremost, a very blessed, happy new year to all. May the year-though it may not signify much- bring you joy and happiness and abundant blessing.

For a start, this first day of 2012 has been great. Went to church and after that shared a great deal of laughter with those few friends of mine. Jokers la we all..! Heh. We laughed for countless minutes straight.. but yeah.. was definitely worth it =D.

Today is also the day I wrote my first essay, thanks to my English teacher... Holiday homework can be such a killer.. I have yet 2 essays to finish and 6 Eng. Lit. questions to settle by the 4th of Jan.

Despite all that, I have settled down with my resolution, and I have it noted on my desktop to remind me throughout the year as well as noting my study timetable in conjunction with my SPM this year.

Oooh!! SPM. Sounds scary right? No la.. To me.. I don't bother much about it. It's just another exam that God will carry me through as long as I put in the effort of studying. I don't need the straight A+'s. I don't need to be excellent in the eyes of the world, in the eyes of my friends, in the eyes of my relatives and family, in the eyes of other people. The only thing that matters is I'm the best person I am, in the eyes of the Lord alone. Amen?

However, of this year I'm trying to achieve either of the two: A new phone, since my Galaxy 5 is kinda slow and has not many apps to utilize on it, therefore I can't maximise the usefulness of a smartphone ; or an acoustic guitar. Of the two, the most favoured that I would like to have would be the latter choice. I wanna hear the ring when I strum a guitar without an amp.. sadly only an acoustic would satisfy that. So yeah... Get me a Yamaha acoustic guitar for my B'day yeah? Oh! It must be able to be compatible with amplifiers too yeah! hehe!!

That's all for the 1st post of 2012! Happy New Year, God bless ye!

With full sincerity,
James Nareik

It All Comes Down To This

2011-12-31T18:41:00.000+08:00

So as the year 2011 draws to an end.... I have made a decision to make the stand on a very hard choice..

It won't be a happy ending for me this year, this I know. But above all else, I pray that the year 2012 will be far much better, in spite of this decision I'm making now.

For a few months, I will be ceasing contact, any form whatsoever with one person, due to personal reasons, just to fix my relationship with God above and to focus on the cross. I've been straying for a long time.. I can't afford it anymore.. It pains me deeply to be making this decision.. but nonetheless.. it's well worth it.

It all comes down this... As the fireworks goes off, it'll be a hard time to make that call, drop it, and say to myself : "That's the last exchange the both of us will ever make.. till when I fix myself".

I put it all in God's hands... whether we forget each other or if one of us forgets the other... It's all up to Him. I'll be faithful no matter His decision.

Thanks for changing me this year, for teaching me so many things, for doing so many things for me, for the smiles, the laughter and all that... but sadly, it has to come down to this. If you're reading this... know that it's for our good. God bless you. I'll be praying for you all the time.

With full hardship,
James Nareik.

Resubmission

2011-12-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

Long have I not seen the light,
In darkness blind was led,
Now I see all in light bright,
Saved from there far than I dared.

A resolution of change to start,
To seek redemption and union,
To give up that's close to heart,
Hence, 'tis be my decision:

To cease exchanging words with one,
To repair the bridge to the sky,
To give up all be said and done,
To have the freedom to fly.

I give myself back to You,
Take me then, just as I am,
Do unto me as You will,
For since, I am only man.

Shattered And Unused

2011-12-28T02:15:00.001+08:00

Shattered, yet unused,
Let time go by this its own mender,
Alone, broken, and refused,
From one known to be so tender,
The rocks fall apart and scatter,
A future, broken and shattered.

Alone, destitute and forgotten,
This lonely matter in the midst of many others,
Stepped upon, spat on and trodden,
No, not even one single soul should bother.
In its pieces it cries out for company,
A silence respond comes from the noises of many.

Unrequited and despaired,
A one sided figure that holds for nothing,
Weak, downcast and impaired,
All he wanted was a little something.
Yet was ignored and despised,
Thrown and disposed, left to die.

Shattered and unused,
This lonely being cries in doubt,
Manipulated and abused,
In his heart contains nowt.
In desolation insecure and deep,
Hoping then for his time to sleep.

-James Nareik- ©2011

Candlelight

2011-09-22T19:14:00.000+08:00

The candlelight a beautiful light,
Releases its cool luminescent glow,
Here in the darkest of night,
Is the only light I dare not blow.

The candle in the corner right,
Gives itself away in dancing flames,
Be kindled and give me bright,
And the space I give you claim.

The candlelight a significant light,
A symbol of romance of then and now,
The minute sun that shines at night,
To which no darkness is allowed.

She comes in shade of white and grey,
She walks in with significant delight,
I sat her down by the light to stay,
The warm glow given by candlelight.

Be it then, be it forever,
All I ask for is you, eternally,
Be mine, my greatest endeavour,
Will you say yes, be mine truly?

I want you here by side,
In the hours of darkest nights,
Come and in my home abide,
Be with me here in candlelight.

-James Nareik, Candelight-

If only you knew! =)

I Look Up To The Moon

2011-09-18T23:31:00.000+08:00

I look up to the moon that glows,
Thinking, wondering of what it knows.
There in its starry seats watching o'er us,
Looming overhead, a sentinel without a fuss.

I look up to the moon on high,
Searching for something, but nigh,
I found it neither behind, nor beside,
But nearer to my soul, inside.

I look up to the moon unmoving,
Figuring why it is so conniving,
For it turns in its own place always,
Like you in me in many ways.

I look up to the moon for inspiration,
Deep in my thoughts, in desperation,
Of every possible picture of you,
Oh how I wish it was before, I knew.

I look up to the moon in need,
My soul's desire is a hunger to feed,
I want, no I need you here,
My one my only, my dear.

-James Nareik, I Look Up To The Moon-

Credits: Wai Jun for the title. =)

For You.

2011-09-16T09:08:00.000+08:00

The warm breeze blows by,

In my barren heart I felt it pass,

The song of you that will never die,

Being played a melody slow and fast,

Of incomprehensible words that mark,

Feelings that of light, not dark.

I wish that I could make you feel,

All that I have in me for you,

Can you not sense in me, my zeal,

Thus, said I, "if only you knew".

Knew of how I told myself to wait,

To wait for long years, for fate.

Rebuke me then, if my intentions wrong,

I question myself then, and even now,

Of how my feelings are; sharp and long,

Even when I get through life, somehow,

Somehow you never leave this halls,

This empty, barren place, without walls.

-James Nareik, for you-

In Words In Explicable

2011-08-29T13:41:00.000+08:00

In words inexplicable,
I founded my life,
In feelings inevitable,
I face my strife.

In times of desperation,
I find the emptiness inside,
In moments of frustrations,
I drown in its tide.

In affections unknown,
I get lost deep within,
In seasons of renown,
I find myself caving in.

In times of indecision,
I find myself in between,
In the feelings of slow precision,
I just don't know where I've been.

I Can't Say I Love You

2011-08-27T20:55:00.001+08:00

I can't say I love you,
If my thoughts are not straight,
When my aims are wrong,
And our distances great.

I can't say I love you,
If your heart don't meet mine,
When the world comes crashing down,
When nothing seems to be fine.

I can't say I love you,
If the wind hardens my soul,
When you take no understanding,
No, something you do not know.

I can't say I love you,
If we were never meant to be,
Listen in all around us,
Have you thought of me?

I can't say I love you,
If you never loved me back,
When the way you treated me,
Just seems a midnight snack.

I can't say I love you,
If I never meant those lines,
When all we are is nothing,
Ended in wasted time.

I can't say I love you,
If I am not in your mind,
When all you had was trouble,
It was my heart you grind.

I can't say I love you,
If the stars themselves oppose,
When the sky holds emptiness,
None of I can suppose.

I can't say I love you,
If the light recedes away,
When the darkness comes lingering,
When hope has gone astray.

I can't say I love you,
If it is last thing I would say,
When life finally comes crashing.],
I can't love you until today.

I can't say I love you,
If I truly do not love you,
When your eyes tell of another-
Of another one new.

A Work Of Yours And Mine.

2011-08-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

Breathe on me,
Hold me back no longer,
Look at me,
Make me anymore stronger.

Put your hands in mine,
Do not let it go,
Let this moment be one divine,
No, never let go.

Let that heart beat drum,
Do not let it stop,
Do you hear the thrums,
Of all the falling raindrops?

Love me, love me all the time,
Do not doubt this anymore,
This feeling, is one sublime,
Do not ask the reason for.

As I end in words I cannot pen,
I leave the description endlessly,
Unknowingly you fill it now and then,
The feelings and words I left so freely.

A Reminiscent

2011-08-17T10:41:00.002+08:00

From a heartbeat to a fire,
You were once my desire,
My all and my everything,
The every reason I sing.

You were once my ecstasy,

The one to lead my fantasy,

Then came the downpour,

And all we could say: "What for?"

All this while, as I look back,

I could see nothing that we lack,

But as I see our positions now,

I can only shake my head and raise my brow.

Words unkept, songs unsung,

Nothing could I say except "We are young",

I've went my way and you, yours,

No longer hearing all your calls.

Dearly departed, see you no more,

I've been stabbed once in the core,

Asking for anything, no longer you,

For it is I, the one you threw.

A farewell, bid you goodbye,

All I hear was your silent lies,

I wished we could've been different,

But it was possible if only you'd listen.

Deals With The Devil (Chapter 1, Draft 3). What I've got so far.

2011-08-10T21:23:00.003+08:00

Jastan is a big, yellow city filled with sandstone buildings. It gives a yellowish impression of everything that it holds within. It holds the palace and the king. A king of what, people do not know. The king rarely gets onto his feet. The economy of the city is centred on the farmlands surrounding it. The crops come in, money goes out. The marketplace will always be crowded with people, bargaining and buying and selling and trading for their goods. Behind the marketplace, through dark and desolate back lanes is the black market. “All Illegal Goods Sold Here”. Frauds were frequent in the marketplace. Fake items were sold at high prices. The blackmarket was to blame for this. Nonetheless, it still stands. Another form of business that takes place in the city is the auctions. They do not auction items there. What are auctioned are always the unfortunate poor. The rich, who are facing losses, will drag a person or two off the streets and auction them to make up for their loss. It takes place in the town square which is located in the heart of the city. It is big and round and holds a small podium in the centre.

When compared to Kursarj, a heavenly city, Jastan stands nowhere near it. Kursarj is a rich city. It’s roads are paved with stoned as well as their buildings. It was a fair city where the ruler has a heart for the people. Kursarj is beautiful. It has always been described as a place where trees grew and where the wind carried the northern winds with them. Jastan has always, and will always be a desert city.

Jastan has never been in a good condition. The streets were narrow and dusty, beggars were everywhere begging for the mercy of the rich, which has always been fictional. The diseased roam the dusty streets of Jastan wanting only to die. The poor had to fight for food with the tame beasts within the city walls. For the scraps off the rich’s table. They made no living at all. When a poor person is able to clothe himself, it is a wonder indeed. They will be looked at suspiciously and left alone after that.

The rich however, they have everything they need. They have the women, the gold, the silver, the copper. They have the poor to auction. They have food on their table. They have long, flowing robes. They walk with their chins up while on the streets. They ride their horses and their carts through the streets without sparing a glance at the poor. This was a land where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The poor were taken from them every single copper they have, and for every they do not have, they were lashed for the entertainment of the many. The rich scoff at them. The poor do not say anything.

Jares was different; he fights back. He might be living in a lowly condition, but the desires of his soul were immeasurable. He lived with a burning hope, a burning desire within him. He believed in a greater fate, one which will free him from his misery, that one day he will be looking down upon to rich. That he will own the land. This young man is only of 223 moons old. Jares was tall and big for a poor person. He is tanned from the burning sun that hangs in the sky every single, unchanging day. His hair was slick and dark brown. His clothes were ragged and torn and dusty.

Jares turned his head around, and called out to the person beside him. "Hey Nashen", he said.

"Hey Jar", replied Nashen with a hoarse voice.

"Anything new today?"

"Not at all. Same old all the time. Not even half a copper for me"

Jares sighed and turned his dark eyes away. "Nothing changes. But I will one day have myself carried over the heads of the rich. I will prove to them that the poor will not be looked down upon".

"You shouldn't say things like this", said a voice behind him. It was Nashen's. "The poor will never even rise above their heads. What more the rich?"

Jares turned around and glared at Nashen and he turned back. "Why do people live without hope? Isn't it better to live with hope than without it?” he said to himself. He got up and walked towards the town square, trying his luck to nick an apple or two from a stall or maybe to find some food which has fallen onto the dusty ground.

“Hey, Jar! Where you going?” Came a feminine voice from behind him. Jares smiled and turned around to see <girl’s name> half running – half leaping towards him. <girl’s name> was a head shorter than Jares. She was slender. Her long black hair flowed behind her gracefully. Most importantly, she was beautiful in Jares’ eyes.

“Hello”, Jares replied.

“Hey”, <girl’s name> said while trying to catch her breath. “So, where you going?” , she looked into Jares’ eyes as she said that. Jares’ fought the urge to stare into those obsidian beads and he looked somewhere else instead. “Eh, I’m just heading into the towns square and probably make a round to the wings”.

“Uhuh. What for?”

“‘What for?’? What do you mean ‘what for?’? I thought it was obvious!”, Jares sighed at that and then added “I’m going to just walk around to find for food. I’m starving.”

“Jares....”, she said with concerned eyes. “We starve all the time”.

“That’s not the point now is it?” Trying hard to say no more, he turned his back to her and started walking towards the city centre once again. After a few steps, he stops in his tracks and turns back to look at <girl’s name>. “Are you coming or not? We don’t have all day to stand around here arguing about what our stomach wants you know.” <Girl’s name> smiles at him and runs after him again. “Of course I’m coming!”, she says.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is where I'm stuck at. Any ideas to pop up?

The Time To Part Ways

2011-08-07T23:12:00.000+08:00

In a forsaken dream,
Such long time ago,
You were life's cream;-
One I cannot forgo.

Long since past the times,
That we spent so gold,
Long since past the lines,
It is now so, so old.

You were a companion,
I hold no regrets to,
You were one I loved millions,
And I hope you had love me too.

And now the night takes me in,
Into its hands I let myself fall,
The cords between us now thins,
I find the strength to stand tall.

The time to part ways,
It has already come,
You have had your days,
I am no longer undone.

The Time Of Love

2011-07-26T21:39:00.000+08:00

The summer's night,

A dark full of starry skies,

The moon, the core of the world so bright,

Bitter and sweet, time lets fly.

The summer's day,

Where love was fresh all round,

The feeling so deep, so gay,

In you, all hope I found.

Return to me deeper in the hands of time,

Rekindle the flames let nothing go by,

Stand by my side, abide and be mine,

Lest my soul should be loss and cry.

Come back, I beg of you,

Into the light you've brought me,

This very soul of sorrow do,

Change me, you hold the very key.

Tonight my love, tonight,

Let all the past be forgot,

Set to flames be it alight,

The pain, the shame and all was not.

Love me tonight, love me tomorrow,

Free me thus, from here, my sorrow,

Take me, I have nothing to lose,

Except my soul, none I could choose.

Let me live, around you now and always,

Seek me, find me day to day,

From time now to everlasting ways,

Till no debt of time to pay.

Free From You?

2011-04-27T17:26:00.000+08:00

The nights come in the dark,
In sleep I dream of you,
The days with the its rays of light,
All I think of is you.

You were my life,
I thought it would be forever,
Mistaken I was to think that,
I was lost in despair forever.

I know you no longer,
My love, if it could be said as such,
I'm letting you know this,
My promise I've kept, if you only know as much.

I've never turned myself against you,
I've never thought as bad,
I've never hated you,
I only disappeared for your good.

I hope you understand,
I could never be free from you,
But I let myself face despair,
That you, in turn, shall be free from me.

-James Nareik-

Guilty As Charged

2011-03-29T21:13:00.000+08:00

I was blind since then,
I've always been the one to blame,
That I betrayed your trust and ran,
And let my soul be devoured in flames.

Sorry that I made the skies turn black,
Sorry that I made the sun turn gray,
The nights as cold as winter, warmth-lacked,
The day as dull as gray sand by the bay.

I have been guilty from the start,
To turn my back away from you,
And yet I shot you in the heart,
When it was all my well-to-do.

I'm sorry that the stars stare daggers,
I'm sorry that the clouds rain spears,
I deem myself far worse than a beggar,
To have put you in the worst form of your fears.

I deserve it all - the pain the sorrow,
To have to make you grief the night alone,
To let you be alone for the morrow,
If only I could all this my wrongs atone.

Forgive the moon for its glare,
Forgive the rain for its pain,
I made it seem unfair,
To have made you feel disdained.

I'm sorry for the wrongs I've made,
I'm sorry for the pain I gave,
If I could put time into the blade,
Your heart I would've saved.

It all turns back to me now,
For in realization now I see,
The sorrow and pain I've been endowed,
And I ask myself: "How could this all be?"

Stars (Inspired by Les Miserables)

2011-03-27T17:07:00.005+08:00

There, out in the night sky,

Casting a dim light,

Filling the darkness,

Filling the dark,

Thou shalt be my witness,

Never to surrender,

To be steadfast and sure,

To be steadfast and sure.

Thou leadest me in the dark,

For thine is the way of the light,

For those who are righteous remain,

They will never be baned!

And if thy fall from heavens above,

Do fall in love...!!

Stars,

In thy great number,

I am inspired,

Unfinished counting,

Keeping order at night,

Thou art the sentries at dusk,
Leading the way of the light,

And at each and every return,

Thou art always the same.

And if thy fall from heavens above,

I wish for pure love..!!

And so it will be,

As it is written,

On the highway to Paradise,

That those who succumb and those who fall,

Will fail the prize.

Stars,

Nothing goes unseen,

Below thy sight,

For thou art watching,

Throughout the night,

Silent without weakness,

Thou never shall yield,

Till thy time is up,

Till thy time is up.

This Is The World

2011-03-20T18:35:00.002+08:00

This is the world,

That at every turn we see,

Self-exaltations unfurled,

They say it's how it should be.

This is the world that we know,

That everyone ought to boast,

No places for anyone to lay low,

But to step up or be toast.

This is the world now,

That if one should fall,

No one to him would bow,

To show that everyone should stand tall.

This is the world this hour,

That when one arises all will adhere,

But to those who fall short will cower,

No ear will be turned to hear.

This is the world this second,

That everyone should be great,

But to him who is broken,

Falls back into darkness of fate.

This is the world everyday,

That everyone should gain power,

But those who fail to live up to the say,

Will wilt, without rain, a flower.

This is the world that we live in,

That is the survival of the fittest,

Yet he who is the best falls into sin,

What survival is there in this test?

This is the world that goes round,

Where everyone ought to be at the top,

But at every corner evil is found,

Where is the good, the evil to stop?

This is the world, this is the world,

Where do the hearts of men dwell?

The world, into the ocean, ought to be hurled,

For evil rings a loud tone, a bell.

This is the world.

Love, No More

2011-03-17T03:05:00.002+08:00

Be strong, O weak heart,

Let no pain dwell in you any longer,

Look on the bright side of a new start,

Take the chance now, become stronger.

Let the memories run into the abyss,

Recall it no more, let it run,
Begone and be amiss!

Unto you, I am done.

Let fire consume my very soul within,

Me and my all, everything I have to know,

Take it all from me, my chagrin,

And pray you're not my foe.

Let the promises and lies drown!

All you've said and done, no more,
For you've only cared for that crown,

A crown that grieves u forevermore.

I'm no longer taking the blame,

No longer the one to be an excuse,
In my heart, many times, set u aflame,

No more, no more to be rescued.

What are words when they aren't kept?

You lied when you told me always,

See! See the eyes that never wept,

A liar! I despise, for those are your ways.

Begone from me! Never to see you again,

Erased! Wiped out! No more I say,

Everything you had were for personal gains,

From morning to evening, night and day.

What was there to love when-

When you turned your eyes away,

What difference now and then?

You were always going astray.

Where you go, rampaging the streets,

Stealing the hearts and love of many,

How big you are, to fill the empty seats,

To me, you're not worth a penny.

Close those eyes and think,

Take the time for soul-searching,

How many ships you sink,

Every single time one goes flinching.

Rest, O my weary heart,

For the dawn arises,

The sun brings the new start,

And holds many more new surprises.

Let the past go deceased,

Untouched, unmentioned in time,

Let them all go decreased,

And pray that I'd be feeling fine.

Let pain dwell no more,

See the love that holds one high,

Know and feel of whats in store,

No more pain, no more sighs.

The thoughts, I ought release,

I place them here for all to see,

To make myself hence, feel at ease,

Like a sunset before the calming sea.

Goodbye, no longer will I see you,

I've run the tap dry of the times-

Times between you and I, now-

Now, I will be feeling fine.

The Last Lines

2011-03-10T18:41:00.002+08:00

To find the time, the time to write,

The feelings, feelings kept inside.

To say that the stars shook at every sight,

To say the moon wept at every cry.

Under the sky, here lies you and I,

The moments we spent together,

I loved you and perhaps you did,

But I push to think that you did try.

Who could ever resist such a face?

That innocent look written over those eyes,

You loved me and perhaps I did,

And I always did take the time to try.

I looked forward everyday,

To the time to spend for you and I,

But I sit here now in silence,

Waiting for dusk to dawn and daybreak to set.

Under the concrete top, around walls of glass,

I held your hand, your hand held mine,

Kissed you I did, and you to me,

But now it's all gone, along with the memories.

Lost you I did and perhaps you to me,

Another person will have you just as I did,

To do the things we did together,

Loved you as I did, or maybe better.

Let these lines be the last in line,

Let it go and come sober thoughts,

Let these lines be the last I ever write,

The last lines I write for you.

Escape

2011-03-07T23:26:00.000+08:00

Espionage is no easy activity to carry out. One of the many risks it carries is that the spy might be arrested, tortured for information and then disposed of after that. It was back in 1945 or more over 70 years ago, back when I was younger. I was infiltrating Nazi Germany then in her majesty’s service. What was it? I was assigned to intercept very information from the Fuhrer himself. Sadly, it didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to be. I was found out, and arrested. Despite being able to speak fluent German, I was unable to change them into thinking that I wasn’t a spy. I thought it was the end of me.

The Germans threw me into a holding cell which was so stuffed and hardly any air to breathe. There was no air ventilation in there. I was a professional spy anyway. One of the Queen’s best assets, I would say. I assessed my situation, my surroundings and started sorting out my options and potential means of escape. However, having my arms tied to the back of a chair and my legs to its post, isn’t going to make this situation any better. The walls were solid rock with a few rough, jagged surfaces, which meant and hopefully able to sever the cords that bound my hands together. A speaker – probably to announce my sentences or to annoy me to deaf – was placed at a corner of the wall, adjacent to the ceiling. Other than that, the room was bare. It held nothing whatsoever. The only way I could get out of this cell was only through the door but I can’t walk through walls. My plans were this; I had to wait till a person comes in to check up on me before I could make my way out. I started severing the cords. Time wasn’t on my side at all.

Truth be told, I never was, I never am and I never will be a James Bond because James Bond’s don’t exist. There was no invisible Aston Martins that could move without a driver, no watches that could break locks or burn holes through walls or any other fancy gadgets. I had to work through bleeding fingers and bruised wrists for over what seems like eternity, to free my arms. After those agonizing moments, I untied my feet and waited by the door, where my victim would walk in and fall into my arms. I now know how a lion feels like while stalking its prey and waiting to strike. I was exactly the same. It was slightly over an hour when I heard the clattering of metal-soled boots – which soldiers wore at that time – against the corridor outside. I was hoping now that he would be armed so I wouldn’t have to go through much trouble getting myself out of this place afterwards. The door opened with a creak, the man walked in. Without hesitation, I jumped onto his back, pinning him onto the ground and silenced him forever in a blink of an eye. I snatched the fallen rifle, took a look around the corridor to make sure it was clear before making my way out of this horrid place.

The place wasn’t as big or as complex as I thought it would be. This place was only just an outpost, an incredibly small outpost. I took soft, cautious steps through the corridors. I spotted an opened door and peeked in. What a delightful sight I thought. It was a stash of dynamites. Rather than running off and saving myself, I guess I could blow up this whole outpost as well. Hastily, I went on in search of my exit. I found it and retraced my steps, but instead of having a clear run like I did only moments before, I walked into a patrol. Quickly, I dispatched them and they were all sprawling on the floor like rag dolls thrown about. The door was still opened and the stash was still there. I searched the body hoping for a lighter or something the likes of that. To my own luck, there was. I tore some cloth from their uniforms, tied one end to the stash and the other as far as possible to give me enough time to run out before the whole place goes up in smoke. I lit the cloth and started running knowing I had little time.

There was little resistance as I made my way out of the place. The barbed fence couldn’t stand against me as well as I made quick work of it, creating a hole big enough for me to fit by using the rifle. The alarms were blaring were behind me as I was found missing from my cell. The searchlights which were once going around in lazy circles were now flying around the ground in search, well, of course, for me. I ran as quickly as possible, in zigzag patterns to avoid the searchlights. One, in fact, actually spotted me, but the person went by too quickly, only to return to the spot where I once had been to find nothing there. I was already gone. They were going crazy! They started spraying bullets everywhere in hopes that one would hit me and slow me down. Too bad for them because not more than a second after they started shooting, the section of the building where the dynamites had been blew up, leaving a giant hole at the side and leaving the building in flames. Rocks and rubble flew everywhere and screams could be heard from far away. Satisfied with my work, I made my way back to my headquarters, which took a rather long time as it was such a long distance from where I was. Nonetheless, I made it back and took a break from the hard work. It was quite satisfactory despite the ongoing war.

Looking back on it now, I would call it my aristeia, in Greek, which meant that it was a period of time where I was virtually invincible and undefeatable. This was my incredible escape in my entire life.

Untold Feelings Of A Lonely Being

2011-03-06T15:02:00.022+08:00

What could be said what could be done,

Of what lies deep inside a hardened shell,

A feeling so ardent that has not begun,

Is it the reason why I fell?

Fell for what you ask,

For something unknown my answer be,

A feeling untouched inside a cask,

Whatever could be happening to me.

Am I losing my mind, once again,

To say I am lost deep within the wave,

A wave of emotions to drown in vain,

Will I, from this, ever be saved?

How can such a feeling be unknown,

That holds back all emotion,

Exempting not a person sane alone,

And sets the mind in a messed-up commotion.

Let all this be as it was said,

To whatever one may be dealing,

To be set free or not, from fate,

All the untold feelings of a lonely being..

Deep Affections Of A Soul

2011-03-06T00:18:00.001+08:00

Make do with much to say,

The feeling that is long to stay,

At no attempts feeble to its way,

To be in a heart for all night, all day.

The beating jealousy called to no more,

Whatever is there worth fighting for,

Look there into the heart's core,

And ask, is there a knock on the door.

The heart which houses all feelings,

With the flames of love go a burning,

Therefore, let the gongs of affection go resounding,

Forever and ever, never ending.

But to all this no more I say,

For I lack one to love, all night, all day,

Praying for one to love in every way,

And in my heart, forever stay.

I wait to see it all,

Awaiting for when you'll call,

Even through time which stands tall,

I will be here even when you fall.

What Hast Not Knowest

2011-02-27T15:19:00.000+08:00

I feel that which comes and goes,

That which I have known not,

I hope much to find that cause of woes,

To know that of what I got.

Be it deep down inside of me,

To the deepest core of my soul,

I wish that I might be able to see,

What causes this feeling so cold.

Who could it be to make me this,

To feel a queer sensation inside,

If all the possibilities were on list,

I might know what in me resides.

Could it be the one?

The one that is to be,

To make me feel done,

The one blessing for me.

Life (In Archaic)

2011-02-25T23:12:00.001+08:00

From where the sun riseth,

There we'll see shadow casteth o'er the earth,

The morning shade we haveth,

For 'twas light giveth birth.

See thee beyond thy eyes,

The beauty that surpasseth all,

Hear them all that nature cries,

Hear thee the salvation call!

For what hath been giveth,

In the end shalt be taken,

So now the life thy art liveth,

Be sure thou art not ladened.

My Public Speaking Script. (-1142 words-)

2011-02-18T00:01:00.000+08:00

BGR

BGR, what does it stand for? BGR stands for boy-girl relationship. What is it you might ask? Is it the intimate relationship between a boy and girl? Courtship? The relationship that holds a marriage together? Or is it just a typical relationship between a boy and girl? To be frank, it is all of the above stated. BGR is all about the relationship between a male and female whether it is intimate or not. Relationships are very important in our lives. It is what strives us to be who we are and it is able to change the character of person, depending on the relation that is established and the intention of a person of what he/she wants to gain from it, but above all else, relationships are still important.

Moving on, I’d like to ask of you, what do you think runs a relationship? To me, relationships are run on trust. Without trust, a relationship is nothing more than a car without fuel. It will not move and will never last. There is a saying that goes “trust is greater than love” and to this I agree fully. Why do I say so? Because to love is to have a feeling of affection towards another person. Whereas to trust a person is to believe in that person fully without doubt in mind. That is why a relationship has to be fuelled by a strong trust between 2 people and not to forget about love as it is also important.

Going back to the main topic, BGR is a very important relationship as it can go beyond friendship between a boy and a girl, although it is possible to keep a BGR as a platonic friendship. A platonic friendship is a relationship between 2 people that will just remain as friends and will never go beyond that. Most people get tend to get involved in a boy-girl relationship very often these days. Sometimes, I even wonder what they hope to gain from it. I see most people who are indulging in this type of relationship as to be hopping around from 1 person to another after breaking up with their current lover, if it can be said as that.

From that, I’ll like to ask another question, which is, when do you think is the appropriate age to get involved in an intimate relationship with someone the opposite gender? Most teenagers these days, especially those who are still in their schooling years tend to get involved in relationships or want to get involved in a relationship. The age groups of these people are mostly aged between 15-17 years of age. Though many parents might oppose to the idea of their child having a boyfriend or a girlfriend at that age, I would say that it is not wrong to have an intimate relationship with someone the opposite gender at that age; neither will I say that it is right to do so. For a situation like this, it is not to take a stand on whether it is right or wrong to be involved in an intimate relationship; rather it is to be looked upon the level of maturity of the people involved in the relationship. Although most teenagers do get involved in an intimate relationship only for the fun of it – so they say, that does not mean that every single teenager that does, does so only for the fun of it. Some teenagers can be quite compassionate in their relationships and are willing to do what it takes to sustain that relationship until they are older and ready for marriage. Getting into a relationship involves taking a higher responsibility and knowing to set one’s priorities right. Being in a relationship does not mean that homeworks can be abandoned and left to rot inside the school bag, for that would be obsession. Obsession should always be avoided at all times in a relationship, because if a person is obsessed, he/she would only be doing everything to be with her/him all the time, and would literally be lifeless.

From what I’ve said, we know that many parents would be opposing to their child getting involved in a relationship. One of the many reasons is because relationships these days are being abused by one party or another. We see many young couples getting involved in premarital sex and will be ending up getting unwanted children. Another reason that relationships for teenagers is said to be unsuitable is because of the suicide tendencies that a person might get if the relationship goes wrong and ends in a disappointing state. As evidence for my statement, we see many suicide cases these days, which is sourced from broken BGRs or BGRs that have gone absolutely wrong. The third reason I will give is that many relationships are influenced by the media these days. From media I mean to say movies and television drama series that are being aired around the world. We see many romantic scenes and all of these scenes tend to influence a person to get involved in an intimate relationship and they will run the relationship based on what they know from that influence the received. In the end, it is most ironic to see that most of those relationships turning upside down because they are unable to become heroes or to do some heroic deed.

For my next part, I would like to say that despite of all those objections, the core of a relationship should be the heart of the people involved as well as their maturity, as I have stated earlier. If both parties involved are willing to commit fully to the relationship and are able to think and draw out the consequences of whatever might happen and how to solve it, I would say that there would be no problem in that relationship unless one party screws up the whole relationship. Many a times when a relationship goes into jeopardy is because one party is not as committed as the other and could be said as taking the relationship for the fun of it. But amongst all else, boy-girl relationships are still very unpredictable and cannot be put into words as to how to run a successful relationship for everyone has different characteristics and emotions.

I would like to end here, hoping that all I have said will help all of you in your future relationships one day another. Before I end, I would like to add in that all of you should know what your goals are when you get involved in a relationship and to take it seriously and not only for self-seeking pleasure. If I have offended anyone, one way or another, I deeply apologize for it and I hope to hear from the person myself that I am able to improve myself. Thank you.

Into Fire And Flames

2011-02-17T16:19:00.000+08:00

From glory to glory the skies stretch,

Into fire and smoke destruction doth etch,

The starry nights too have felt,

Into the darkness they all melt.

Songs of beauty and passion,

Sung with much compassion,

Now have been left forgotten,

Into the dirt now are trodden.

Memories of joy and peace,

Into ashes have decreased,

Put into fire and flames,

And there is only one to blame.

Towers fall and buildings collapse,

Everything happens as time elapsed,

The ruins and remnants that are left,

Now placed in watery depths.

The world denies all existence,

Even with strong persistence,

Has denied the upbringing of it,

The downfall and removal into the pits.

Into fire and flames I placed you,

To change my life to start anew,

Died in my life you already have,

For it is how I'm able to save.

Into fire and flames.

The Pains Of Love

2011-02-15T00:25:00.002+08:00

In the night a thief you came,

Stole my heart and left a trail

I wished I held yours to make it tame,

Never did I know I was so frail.

To give all I had I thought would count,

The sacrifices of time I spent,

Into a wild heart my love has mount,

A mark you left,

A deep deep dent.

Words exchanged so full of hope,

And tender smiles so full of joy,

If only my heart to you would cope,

Then maybe love won't seem much a toy.

To turn away is calling death,

To see you is to suffer pain,

I wish you would be with me till my dying breath,

But what now can I hope to gain?

-A dedication to a friend close to heart-

I'm always here to hear.

KLPJ SCFL Convention 2011

2011-02-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to say, except that IT ROCKS! I was on stage, as a back-up singer, singing alongside 200+ people for and audience of 1 or 3. You decide. It's the same anyway. The speakers were great, and I really wanna get consumed by the passion for the house of my Lord, my God. I want my tables and chairs to be overthrown, I want to be changed. And I'm so inspired by this:

Enjoy. God bless.

"Zeal for Your house has eaten me up"

The Recounts, Ripped

2011-02-04T16:53:00.002+08:00

Where do I start,

Where do I begin,

From the bottom of my heart?

Or the top of my feelings?

Unknown to each other has long pass,

And familiar we became to each other,

Saying that our friendship will forever last,

Thinking all of us will have each other.

Time went by as fast and as slow,

That we became closer together,

With each and every passing day did not know,

We were about to lose each other.

The love we shared,

The joy we cared,

The company we cherished,

And the feelings we carried.

All we said and done,

All counts for naught.

Feeling as if we're dead and gone,

Even though we have not fought.

The end towards us approached,

To each other bid we goodbye,

Even though to each other we devote,

Separate we did,

Knowing you were a lie.

I didn't really care about it,

Thinking we could really be friends,

Even though a fire was lit,

And in water got drenched.

Become friends we did,

Though not the closest we could be,

Our long past we hid,

To a bright future we see.

And to find myself again,

Lost to what you thought of me,

Unto nothing from that did we gain,

Except a life I tried to flee.

To ask you of a misunderstanding,

To no answer you gave back,

And now I have myself restraining,

To show you something you lack.

To discover you're a liar,

A hypocrite, a fraud,

To love only for your own desire,

Unto the person your love was naught.

Now your face I see not,

For its too painstaking to see,

Your voice I hear not,

For it is accursed to me.

No longer a word I will give you,

For to you I've ignored fully,

Acknowledge not anything you do,

Henceforth signed, YOURS TRULY.

Love Is No Longer What It Is

2011-01-28T22:14:00.002+08:00

Unto what extent does love give?

Until where does love go?

Does it live so that others might live?

Or prove me wrong for saying so?

What does one expect to find in love?

A fine freedom or a glimpse of paradise?

One as great as the heavens above?

Or were they all hidden beneath lies?

To question love is to question life,

So they say, have I been right?

Have men been honoring their wife?

Have not they all started a fight?

The world has changed the perspective of love,

It is no longer pleasant but corrupted,

All we can do is hope in up above,

Or until the world dies, erupted.

Life, It's Going Down

2011-01-27T16:05:00.001+08:00

I've made a million considerations,

All just to come up with a decision,

Doubting and creating a dozen reasons,

All united, standing without division.

Therefore my mind was made,

A choice I thought would surely sustain,

Forget everything done and said,

For my own life I have slain.

For what is life that I should live,

In the breaking point at which I cry?

In the negatives of the world believe?

Oh, how one wishes he could die.

Into fire with undying rage,

Why does life keep me here?

Stuck inside this unbreakable cage,

But no, death I do not fear.

Truth be told,

My days are numbered,

To you, long I did hold,

And to peace, my endless slumber.

The fruits of life bear no joy,

But its inmost core holds pain,

Taking me nothing more than a toy,

What is there in life to gain?

All I have in life is temporal,
Nothing more than a dying wish,
Even down to the last living coral,
Insignificance comes on a dish.

There might be a season of everything,
Every event that occurs under the azure sky,
Enlisting everything and anything,
To the redundancy of even those which fly.

What is there to live for,
When all I have is either dead or gone,
Like a blade into the heart, my core,
There, the damage cannot be undone.

Thoughts And Questions

2011-01-23T18:06:00.000+08:00

Nein. This is not gonna be a poem. I'm just posting all my thoughts in this and you may kindly help me to answer if you want to.

Lately, I do not know why, my heart just feels heavy. And each and every time I do, I ask myself why but without result. I've been living a solitary life all along. But why is it now that I feel so quiet, listening to the drum beats on my music player all day long. When I pause it, all I hear is my heartbeat, then I will realize how lonely I am. My chats don't pop-up, no friends around to crap alongside with, no one to enjoy the large amount of spare time I have.

Yet again, I walk out into the world, seeing how people fall in love, fall, get back up, fall once again. What is all this for? What does one intend to gain? Love isn't a game for goodness' sake! Do they not realize how many broken hearts they cause? Try this, rather then being the one who is throwing, be the one who is thrown away. How'd you like that? And what more you're throwing every 2-3 months. Self-satisfaction? I guess not. For me, it just seems that the person wants to advertise himself, telling all his/her friends how attractive he/she can be. But look at all the vengeful faces, the broken soul and spirits. Do they not feel guilty for all that?

Another problem I face is I have a broken friendship. How the heck is one suppose to sustain a bridge all by himself? I'm the only support that's left and the other just comes and goes. I don't see why this has to be. Screw the bad experiences, why does that person have to avoid me all the time? We used to be so close, now we're like the distance between the Sun and Mars. Far, yet still reachable. Are we not able to have what we once have? We can still talk, we can still laugh, but why dismantle the bridge and build it back only when you NEED me? I feel like I'm being used just to let you know that there is still someone out there who's there for you. Yes, indeed I am. But are you always there for me? Every single time I turn to you, all you do is try to kill the conversation. I turn away, in disgust keeping myself silent. Before I know it, you come back to me telling me bout how you feel and all the problems you face, knowing I'm the best consultant around. Is that all I am to you? Am I being taken for granted? If you ever read this, you SHOULD do some soul-searching. I acknowledge you as my friend. You told me I am your closest friend. NOTE: AM, not WAS. But the way you're treating me now is that I'm nothing more than someone who is turned to in times of trouble. Screw that.

A Praise Unto Thee

2011-01-21T23:02:00.003+08:00

Have I not found favour in Your eyes,

I did all for You willingly without doubt and fear,

All I did not within public eyesight,

Silently, everyday throughout the year.

Seek me first Your kingdom,

Is how I live everyday,

Knowing You have offered me freedom,

Living forever, without and end of days.

My Lord, my God,

You are faithful and great,

In the darkest times it's You I sought,

And in Your hands, lies my fate.

You led me through the darkest nights,

Through the heavy storm and the drought,

Comforting me in times of fright,

Keeping me safe in a crowd.

How great Thou art,

Let every tongue praise Thee for Thy works,

May You open every heart,

And not let any darkness lurk.

Let Your light shine,

Through us, Your people,

Oh Lord, be mine,

That I may not be feeble.

Amen.

Unpredictable

2011-01-19T22:46:00.001+08:00

I have never thought I'd be seeing you again,

For a very long time I did,

I looked upon you with disdain,

To you, goodbye I did bid.

Nothing more than a mere shadow,

That was what you became to me,

But I never saw you were lurking low,

Never I knew what you have come to be.

Have I only known,

About what was to come,

It is like asking if the wind has blown,

Much insignificance, right down to the bone.

You know who you are,

You who rest in every heart,

To death unto nothing do you part,

Where some do as "where doth thou art".

Nothing but love,

Came creeping back,

As pure as a dove,

Amongst all greater than luck.

The Truth In Reality

2011-01-19T17:33:00.001+08:00

Every night as I stare up into the starless skies,

I see it as empty as my longing soul,

Ever so slowly yet as fast as time flies,

I find my own being oh, so low.

If only you have ever known,

My own feelings towards you,

How much I’ve cared and shown,

Every beating second as time flew.

Have I not been the one always?

To stand beside you in times of your despair,

Am I not the one who guided you in your ways?

And be the one who was always fair.

I cherish every single moment with you,

From the very beginning up to the end,

How I wish that you only knew,

That my love for you will never end.

A 100th Post

2011-01-19T15:16:00.000+08:00

Oh yhey! It's my 100th post on the blog but no... it's not gonna be a 100th poem.

Form 4 life is keeping me super busy.. physically busy that is... my mind still thinks a lot and it's hard to keep it under control from reflecting upon my past. But gladly, I'm able to put my trust in Him more and more with each passing day knowing that His plans are greater than mine and moreover, its perfect as well. =D

Take care, God bless.

To The Mind, Cheers!

2011-01-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

Deep down in our feelings,

There lies our thoughts,

With words so amusing,

There they lie in lots.

Cheers,

To thee I bid,

For the mind none can concede,

A surpassing greatness like no other,

One which men overlook,

Does not bother.

The mind,

The strongest asset,

A power we have to find out yet,

The shower of problems and emotions,

The mind,

The greatest solution.

Untameable yet controllable,

We are what we think,

Our thoughts are shapeable,

And yet are able to sink.

Oh the mind,

To be left empty is the devil's vessel,

Yet see the mysteries to undermine,

Beneath those ardent castles.

-Σας δεν μπορώ ζωντανός ενα θετικός βίος με ενα αρνητικός μυαλό-

~Original Works~

Random Without Regret

2011-01-03T16:21:00.000+08:00

The real regret of my life,
Was to fall in love,
Till this moment I strife,
Something I cannot put off.

The emptiness in the heart,
The hole that signifies loneliness,
To be filled is hard,
To be left untouched is torture.

The Deepest Feelings Of The Heart

2010-12-30T19:53:00.000+08:00

In the hours of gloom and darkness,
I find myself looking for love still,
No place in my heart to harness,
No matter how much to it I will.

In the vast ocean of my memories,
Not one regret I did see,
Though some required clarities,
The doubts of those I did not flee.

The day approached,
The day love passed by,
It struck my heart,
Although it said "goodbye",
Those feelings has never left me since,
Instead I got stuck to it ever since.

The hours went by,
Drastic and unchanging,
The days of loneliness,
And weeks of isolation,
Since the day love went,
Countless and fading.

Miss you not I did,
But as the tides of time came by,
I came looking for love and the company it heeds,
A love that lasts until the day I die.

Merry Chrismas!!!

2010-12-25T17:24:00.001+08:00

Seasons' Greetings to all of ye fellow readers!

Today's Christmas! Yay!! xD. First and foremost, I sincerely wish all of you Merry Christmas and that for the days to come, that you will find joy and happiness.

Let's all not forget the significance of this day. This day was the day that Christ, our Lord was born. He who came from heaven to earth, to save the world. Let us take this time to celebrate it and be joyful for God is with us. Rejoice and be glad!

A straightforward post

2010-12-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna stop being poetic for this post xD.

So every Form 3 kid in Malaysia has taken their PMR results yesterday (23/12/2010) and I'm glad to announce that I achieved my straight A's (And not gay A's). I was doubting my BM of getting an A.. I felt that I was going to get a B for that. So I really didn't care much about getting straight A's because I thought my BM was gonna get a B.

Nonetheless, I wanna thank God for what He has given to me. To the other straight A students out there, congratulations upon your achievement =D

To this before I part from my blog:

Merry Christmas.... EVE to all of you readers! =)

Thoughts And Emotions

2010-12-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

Alone,
In the darkness,
Where once the light shone,
Now I'm stuck here in blindness.

With eacdh passing day,
I think about you all the time,
The wave of emotions tried to be kept at bay,
But to no avail,
You were never mine.

I let myself drown in thoughts,
Thoughts of you and when we once smiled,
But now look what time has brought,
Love to me has now appalled.

In silence I wait,
In fear my thoughts doth haunt,
Every single word that was said,
But in the end,
You are gone.

Thus above all else,
I will true to my word,
My love deep in your heart dwells,
Till the very end of time,
Lest I depart.

Neither The Present Nor The Past

2010-12-16T13:52:00.004+08:00

In the darkness,

I used to sit in the silence,

Reflecting upon how my day went,

Now as I rest in solitude,

All it holds caged in,

Are nightmares waiting to burst forth,

Threatening to consume my sanity.

I used to wake up at the light of dawn,

Knowing I have much too look up to,

Especially knowing you were there,

All I want now is to shut my eyes,

Wishing it will all return,

And the voices will be no more,

Thus returning to my refuge of sleep.

As I stare and wait for the day to pass,

I wish amongst all else,

That only it had last,

All that the days hold for me,

Is only the loneliness and silence,

Which tears my soul apart,

Day after day.

As I await change,

And try to forget all things past,

Yet to this problems I have overcome not,

Only for time shall I wait for,

Time is a healer,

A fact none can challenge.

The Dark Side Of Life

2010-12-13T18:06:00.002+08:00

Life,

Defined in many words,

And in many ways,

Said best served smiling,

And topped with something worth enjoying,

But the truth is this;

Life is insignificant from a perspective.

Life,

It starts the moment we're born,

Henceforth, we live how we want to live,

Soon after many years,

We age and eventually die and move on from life,

Into what we know as death.

Life can be said as a wave,

It goes up and down,

Moving through the ocean,

But in the end,

It ends up on the shore,

And the wave is no more.

Life,

Is that all there is to it?
Everything we do and say,

It ends so abruptly,

And all for nothing?
Has life betrayed us all,

Only for our deeds forgotten through death?

I tell you,

Life is more than that,

Death is no more than a gate,

A gate to life,

Or a gate to suffering.

My Helplessness.

2010-12-07T18:36:00.002+08:00

I only hope that the very eyes I wrote this to would actually see this eventually:

Everyday I look at you,

I grief,

The joy I see in your eyes,

The laughter that fills your heart,

And the playfulness that fills your soul,

I mourn for you.

Each surpassing day,

You're losing your grip,

Slipping slowly away,

Into the darkness,

Which I feared would have consumed you,

Yet here I stand,

Helpless,

Before this very sight.

My dear friend,

Your joy,

Your laughter,

Your playfulness,

Is just bounding you,

To the world,

Release yourself and return.

My heart is filled with sorrow,

When I see you,

Being dragged away,

Further and further away from me,

The blame is none but I,

I who am to be responsible for this loss.

I just pray that your eyes will open one day,

And that you will see,

See all that this world has to offer you,

See all that life has to give to you,

Which all ends in a simple answer:

Nothing.

Life might be the longest thing we have,

70 years we say,

Before we perish and return to dust,

How much in that life time,

Can you enjoy,

The pleasures of life,

That will be no more,

After death,

What can you bring before judgement?

Come,

Let me show you the meaning of life itself,

I have discovered it,

For there is no other,

Death parts to life,

If only a soul is worthy,

Have you found life?

Or are you,

Still lost in your strife?

Of God and Love

2010-11-29T12:57:00.002+08:00

Heya..!

It's been long since I've last blog.. well.. rather long that is. I just came back from the National SCF Leaders' Camp in STM, Seremban. It's been a blessing that camp. So many things I've learned. I finally found my way back to God and am building up this intimate relationship with him once again. Can't wait for it to grow more =)

Over the last few days, I still reminisce about everything before the NSCFL camp. So many tales and stories. So many wrongs that I can no longer correct. I still can't forget all the sweet times I've had with that 1 person, which is really killing me inside every time I think about that person. Well, if that person just so happens to read this, it's not your fault.

I recommitted myself to God for like the 8th time? I finally find myself closer to the purpose in my life. To serve and do His works. But where my path lies, I've yet to uncover the answer.

NSCFL 2010 rocks! I regret not going since F1/F2.. Can't believe next year is already my last year to participate in NSCFL. Pictures are all up in Facebook in numerous profiles. Happy hunting :P.

Take care, God bless.

Amor omnibus amicis

2010-11-19T22:17:00.002+08:00

Love,

Is never lonely, never dark,

It revolves around its pioneers,

It delights in the joy it produces,

It bears no sorrow.

Love,

Is meant for good,

It removes pain,

It hides no secrets,

Neither does it lie,

Nor does it leave.

Love,

It stays on forever,

To whom it may be,

To whom it may be for,

It never leaves,

It doesn't say goodbye.

Love,

Returns at the darkest of nights,

At the loneliest sights,

When all hope seems lost,

Love,

It comes creeping around the corner,

Waiting to return.

Recent thoughts

2010-10-17T16:18:00.002+08:00

I've really not much to say although its been a month since I posted. And not to mention, that month has actually been a very long 30 over days. So many things have happened and yet, I've not the words in my mind to put it down in black and white.

But what I want to put here on this screen is just to put a point of thought in your mind, dear reader:

Is your life fulfilled? Meaning it being a 10/10 rated life?

I can tell, majority of the answers will never appear as a 10/10. Why? Life is not fulfilling enough. All we want is just more and more and more. Aye?

Shocking enough to say, I have a 10/10 rated life. Now, surely you would be wondering why so. Let me just put this, compare me and you. You might think you and I are indifferent. If that is what you think, find me, and I'll surely bring this into the light.

Another thing I'd like to emphasize on is this:
Where does God lie in your heart?

Dear brothers and sisters,

Are you just proclaiming your faith by your mouth and not by your actions? Is your life merely put into words and not by the things you do? Think again.

Let me do this if I have to, is God just a mere person in your life to comfort you and to be called upon in times of desperation and trouble? Or is He an everyday part of your life?

Food for thought.

Lies and Deceit

2010-09-08T02:54:00.002+08:00

Beware he who has a tongue of a serpent,

For it only gives away poison,

When his mouth is open,

All that comes out are lies and deceit,

And falsehood and evil.

Beware he who dwells in the dark,

For he is hollow and has no light within,

He is forever condemned,

And wanting to bring others to be condemned with him.

Beware he who has no heart,

For he does not show love,

He is forever lost in the flames,

No mercy is shown to him,

Only to be accepted by blames.

Beware he who with a sinister smile,

For he is surely up to no good,

What lies in his mind is to bring upon suffering,

And pain to all who wander his path.

Fear not I tell thee,

For there is One greater among all these,

He who is Love and Joy,

Peace and Kindness and all good indescribable,

Seek thee Him who brings all these unto thee,

For surely thou shalt not be left behind to these evil.

Masks

2010-09-08T02:35:00.003+08:00

Masks,

You and I wear one everyday in our lives... maybe more than 1 actually..

What does it actually reflect? Its our personality actually, how we act towards another, the smile on our face, the glimmer in our eyes and yeah you get the point don't you?

We act differently around different people all the time, we like some, we despise others. Those are our masks actually. There can be the good masks and bad masks. But to be precise, its actually no good no matter good masks or bad masks. We, by right should only have 1 personality to reflect upon how we are made; that is of course, to display love, care and concern to others. Why the hateful glance left and right? Why the anger and rage? Stop the masks, lets just love and care for others and start a peaceful and just world. Yes, it may seem impossible, at least lets get it to a near-perfection.

Relation

2010-08-08T01:40:00.003+08:00

I called, You answered,

I cried, You comforted,

I complained, You replied,

I angered, You calmed me.

Where in the world could I find one like You?

None, that the answer shall be.

You who came to love,

And to give Your life away,

What can we do to ever repay You.

After all these years,

We turned against You,

We heard You,

Yet we restrained,

We know You're there,

But we ignored,

We're unworthy,

What was the reason for Your life to be paid?

Unending love and grace,

Flowing from a fountain,

All in abundance.

You've shown to me Your power,

You've revealed to me Your glory,

Let me prepare my heart for You,

To be Your temple and myself as a living sacrifice,

For I am no longer my own,

But I am yours.

Forever.

-Original Works-

The Emptiness of Life

2010-07-30T18:05:00.002+08:00

Life is destitute,

It is desolate and dull.

It leaves a lonely soul empty,

Forever it is null.

Life is meaningless,

It is short and bitter,

Yet it moves on slowly,

Minute by minute,

Hour by hour,

Till it arrives at Death's Door.

Life is merciless,

It gives no chances,

A casualty's a casualty,

A fatality's a fatality.

It can't be turned back.

Life is but a bulb,

Flickering and fading to darkness,

'Til the tungsten shatters and breaks,

And life is no more.

Not a shadow nor a ghost,

Only memories which fade day by day,

In other people's minds.

-Original Works-

Its been 2 weeks?

2010-07-26T19:57:00.002+08:00

Wow, I can't believe its been like 2 weeks since I've last been here. I'm kinda like posting this just to reach my quote of a post per week just to occupy some free time I have like what I have right now.

Sigh. I don't even have a single darned clue about what I typed above... but nevermind! Screw that! There's one thing I'm here to post is just about what happened on the 24th of July 2010! Wow! The date sounds familiar? Why? First it was 2 days ago. Secondly, family day and the day most of us ran out of school to Berjaya Times Square.

Yeah, that was what happened. Ronkie, Matthew, Gary, John, Yau Yuet and I... we did that. We walked all the way to Berjaya Times Square.. Not a very great experience I can tell you. What did we do? Pick up movie tickets and HANG KAI!! WoOHoO? Can't contain myself. Forgive me for that. We went for the Sorcerer's Apprentice which had rather lame jokes. Worth the RM11 in my opinion. Quite enjoyable if you don't view it with the erm... critic point of view. You know what I mean.

Pics are on facebook. My profile + yy's. Go have your view =D

English Week and a change to come

2010-07-13T19:32:00.002+08:00

Yeah... its Language Week and so far no notice of when we shall be able to talk in Chinese for a day...(better than nothing)... If it doesn't happen.. then sigh..... what a day missed... Another frustration is that the Poem Writing competition got cut off.... this got me totally like going WHAT THE HECK!??!? Why not?? =(

At least so far the programs are being carried out smoothly... And oh.. my ankle is so much better now.. I can walk without feeling pain... The awkweird part? My ankle is swelling up... I have absolutely no idea why this is happening... but it is! Gah... nevermind... lets just let that be... Its just a swelled ankle anyway...

The change?

Some personal experience I had over the week... I'm really getting myself to change.. I HAVE TO AND I WILL. I can't bear to lose myself again over something so insignificant. I owe Yoshua 2 now. Its all thanks to him that he made my conscience clear right now and what I have to do in life. *If you so happen to read this Yoshua, thanks*

Still I'm falling in mixed feelings again within two parts of a different life (feels like that). What can I do eh?

Last part, Family Day's nearing... I still wonder who's coming... heh.. Not my problem anyway.. Gonna go hang kai at BTS after doing some dumb and lame stuff we a few friends.

Lets end with this:

Never will I leave you,

Never will your love cease,

I give my heart to you too,

Now my life's at ease.

Thank you God!

Recap over the week.

2010-07-06T21:04:00.002+08:00

Nothing much done over the week.. Just have to say I pulled my stomach muscles because I tried to straighten my legs to an 180 degrees angle on a chin-up bar... Had to stop trying though.. Phone fell.. Double ouch?

Oh and oh!!! I recently just changed into something else.. No I'm not a freaking butterfly! Get it out of your head(s) kay!? I'll be leaving it to yourselves to guess about it.. but just no.. no butterfly... speaking of which, I witnessed just the other day... Some butterfly got rolled-over by like a super huge 20 ton? Lorry... Amazingly... its body was okay and just it wings got torn... It died with a *krraaakkk* sound... o.O. Peculiar sound when a butterfly has a hydrostatic figure.

I also just finished reading Charlotte's Web.. Thanks *cough cough* for the book though. And yes, I have to agree that the ending was rather bittersweet. Was on the verge of tears... Guess I'm changing into a melancholic person eh?? haha.. rather hard to be convincing myself of that either... I know.. I know...

I guess I've actually nothing else to recap about the previous week... I must be rather blur as I've like slept nearly 75% of the day away today.... At least I remembered to print my Sejarah project!! Woot!! I rock to the max!! Wahahaha... Nevermind.. that was just a little sarcasm.

Lastly, if you want peace and quiet when you're near me... please tell me to refrain from taking high-sugared drinks... you would reallyy regret it. Try asking my friends. Hehe..

Off!

Nightwish - Phantom of the Opera

2010-06-27T22:21:00.002+08:00

This is just something that I have to share with all of you, dear readers:

One of the best songs I've ever heard!!

Enjoy!

Just a feeling

2010-06-26T23:26:00.002+08:00

Love,

Is it just a feeling of expression?

Or is it for those with depression?
One's needs of attention?
Or the need for attraction?

Love is more than a feeling,

The likes of thrilling,

A roller coaster ride,

A journey between two beings,

A connection of affection.

Love is something from me to you,

And from you to me too,

Am I to take the first step?

How about you?

Life in Views

2010-06-25T18:40:00.002+08:00

Looking in a mirror, what do you see?
A reflection of oneself,

Every detailed in perfection,

Change your angle, the perspective changes,

So does life.

Life is made out of many different "angles and perspectives" as one would say. Why can't there be tolerance and love in the community? While stay straight when you could see the side and view from a different angle?

Just a point.

Inspirations and Influences. The 2 "I"s in Life

2010-06-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

Sorry, but I can't find any suitable image for "influence". Ahh.. Scratch that.

Inspirations and Influences actually play a very important role in our lives. Agree? Let's start off with the inspirations with this simple question: Who is your inspiration?

There ARE many inspirations. Even I, can be an inspiration to others, through my works and attitudes. And not forgetting that, leads me to become an influence in someone else's life. In that case which leads to this question: Am I a good or a bad influence?

Yes, there are 2 types of influences, the good and the bad. Where art thou?

Inspirations erm.. INSPIRE! Okay.. nevermind, that was just me being lame. Inspiring someone takes a lot of work and words. To inspire someone there are so many things to do.. but it ain't easy! Its like taking a needle out of a haysack at which I have no idea what it has to do with the topic I'm talking about right now. But oh, you should understand what I mean... heh..

Influencing people is actually easy since you've already become an inspiration. To influence is to change a person's mindset, his perspectives, his attitude and etc. If its too complicated to understand, to put it in other words in that case : To change a person's character to either a downside or and upside. This depends on what type of person the person is (Zzz....). If the person has a good character, chances are the influence on the other party would be a good one and if the person is bad, then it goes the other way round.

2 "I"s can actually change many lives. If I have change yours in a good way, I'm happy. If I've not, tell me. Let me change.

And thank you to those who has actually inspired and influenced my life. Its really a big impact.

Exams and all

2010-05-23T14:13:00.002+08:00

Yeah... exams week... what is the best way to describe it? Sucks? Literally true. Exams SUCKS the whole time. If you disagree with me, go call yourself a nerd. Just finished 2/7 (PMR PAPERS) which is like BM and English. What's more bout the exams is that they are government papers which means it is not as hard as my school's paper.. meaning? Less study.. less stress... yays for that!

Nothing much else to blog about... life's been repeating itself these days... Same old thing everytime.. no more oomph or kicks or any shocks around... Just boredom throughout exams... =D

I Deserve a Chance

2010-05-10T20:11:00.000+08:00

What's wrong just being friends?
What is the need for others to interfere?
An intention for laughter,
Which results in disaster,
A broken friendship,
No longer a word from both lips.

I deserve a chance to express myself,
You who yourselves are,
Be not blind anymore,
Let your eyes be opened and see!
See all you have done and not let be.

Let my life be left alone,
Interference I need not,
Just a friend is all I need,
Lose it, and thats just the end of it.

I deserve a chance,
So do you,
I've given you yours to change,
So give me my chance,
And I'll be the change.

A Lonely Story

2010-05-06T17:55:00.002+08:00

A young man on a side walk,
Ragged he may seem,
Wandering aimlessly along the empty streets,
Looking left and right,
Tears in his eyes,
Without love and attention,
A broken heart, a broken life, a broken soul.

Reaching into his pockets,
Pulling out his keys into his home,
Remembering how joyful it once has been,
And the dark past just returns to mind,
All joy and love, lost within the blink of an eye,
A skid, a crash, a cry, and silence was all that took it away.

The love of his life,
Shredded to pieces like paper,
Lost forever in the eternal space of time,
He stepped into his home,
Looking at a picture of her,
Knees buckling to the ground sobbing,
And spoke these words did he,
Which very words clearly said,
"To death be us part, To death we meet again".

A sorrow so deep,
A wound far to big to cure,
A broken soul which could never be mended,
A young man whom only has discovered love,
A lost family in time,
A lonely story left for all to read,
'Tis be your time to think,
Love those around you, cherish each moment,
Let not your life be as one like this,
A life of mine.

Sweet or Sour Revenge?

2010-04-27T23:25:00.003+08:00

Red with fury the face will be,
Anger fills the very soul,
Eyes never leaving its own target,
Fully focused and waiting ever patiently.
Tightly clenched fists held between gritted teeth,
Veins protruding from beneath the skin.

Never can one bear such a sight in mind,
But what can we do?
It happens all the time,
Some call it sweet revenge,
But is it really sweet?
Or does it just adds more guilt,
Or agony or sorrow to the soul.

Sweet O sweet taste of vengeance,
Does it really feel that sweet?
Or is it a drug that corrupts your mind,
Asking ever for more and more of its sweetness.
Vengeance, the opposite of justice,
The act of taking judgement into ones hands,
Defies the very law of the beginning,
Who are we when we ourselves have yet to be judged?

Let us not succumb into revenge,
But let us take the position that of where,
Mercy and vengeance meet,
There of at the very foot of justice,
Let not there be matters settled by the hand of fury,
But let it thereof be handled by the right hand of justice.

Sweet or sour revenge?
Ask yourselves again,
What is right and wrong?
Anger and fury are just means of corruption,
Reflect upon yourself and look straight,
The past is past,
Vengeance is no longer sweet,
It burns the very soul.

Something out of boredom

2010-04-25T17:16:00.002+08:00

Long time I've not been blogging something properly like this eh? Seems so syok sendiri to me because I'm kinda like just doing this when I'm bored and knowing that not many eyes are coming to this. But neverminds anyway, the main point is that I just wanna kill my time here. Yet I wonder still how many people are as desperate as me just posing something on one's page just to get their head running, blood flowing to their brains so they won't fall asleep right in front of the computer screen while the music is still playing in their ears eh??

What can I say about 15 years of life? Great? Wonderful? Blessed? Dark? Heh, you go ahead and guess yourself. So many things coming up in the days ahead. Past doesn't matter to me anymore. Sigh, being lonely this days. Everyone going out and enjoying outdoor activities with friends while I sit enclosed in the four walls of my room in front of a computer screen... So to the few of you who think I'm some kinda computer freak think again... I'm a big extrovert, which means I can't survive without the company of people be it in awkward situations or not. The main point is the presence of people that I know around me. Hehehe, don't I just sound like a, erm... good friend? xP.

Let's not go too far ahead now. Let's take this coming week.. CBD is near... which means the end of weeks and WEEKS~! of stress!! Whooo~!! Clap larr what is this sia... hehe.. k lar I'm being over-SS now :P. Then May trots along my road and I hope it doesn't collide with me and knock me down my feet.... I'm really having a big and tough and stressful year being the PMR and all... Parents going around everyone and like "Kieran, you wanna score well you gotta study!" "Kieran, go study! If not PMR how get straight A's" Arrghhh!! Its just PMR larr... pressure me more I give straight E also no prob man! A clear mind is better then a clear confidence. So what better than not to study and relax... Trust the teacher... :D

Well, I think I'll just end it right here.

God be with you and thanks for your two eyes on screen :D

Love Kills

2010-04-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

Am I in love or am I in despair?
I think of you once in a while,
Every second you appear in my mind,
My heart longs ever again for you.

Love is dangerous and insecure,
Though I keep that in my mind,
I can never keep my mind from you,
It wanders everywhere hoping you're fine.

I said I'd forget you,
Leave you as a remnant of my past,
Urging myself not to look back upon you,
But in the end I found out love is a must.

Though knowing my life is not in tune with yours,
I cannot stop myself looking at your smile,
Your laughter makes my heart tingle,
But I must tell myself to turn away.

Up till this time you are in my thoughts,
Up till this hour tears fill my heart,
But I must turn from things past,
And be sure life must still go on...

A Random Poem To Express My Feelings

2010-03-30T20:07:00.002+08:00

Oh Lord,

How You've made my days a blessing,

Everyday I look around and know it is Thy gift.

Oh Lord,

How You've made me realize that my ways were wrong,

How You've made me see to against my dark wrong desires.

You opened my heart, released myself into Your embrace.

Oh Lord,

You made me give my all for You,

Nothing shall I spare from Thee to take,

My life is Yours and not mine to make.

Oh Lord,

Even though I know its hard for me,

But Lord, You've promised me eternity,

For You and Your steadfast love has never failed,

Dear Lord, lift me over this concrete walls before me.

Oh Lord,

Never again shall I look back on myself nor the world,

Never will I be a pillar of salt caught peeking backwards.

The world You have taken from me,

The world shall I abandon myself.

Oh Lord,

I thank Thee for all these,

I thank Thee for Thy endless blessings.

Thank You, Lord, for all You've done,

There's nothing left of me,

All I've given to you, and I want none.

CNY Week

2010-02-22T09:42:00.002+08:00

Ok, first of all, I just wanna state that my blog will not be updated rather frequently, it being the PMR year and all...

Happy CNY to all readers, angpow come to me plx :p

My week? Ok lor, spent 4 days 3 nights in Melaka, had reunion dinner with mom's side of the family.

Best part of the week? Nope, not the angpow, angpow verrryyy little nia this year!! I also dunno why lerr.... oh oh! Back to the best part, go outing with friends on Friday. Went to BTS for Percy Jackson. Ok-ok movie, not recommended for those PJ book freaks! Seriously! All we did there was technically to 'kap lui' xD

Hmph, school started today and yes, very sienn! Posting this in school at the moment, so have to be off fast... zzz..

Bye all,

Dunno when Imma post again :P

1st Weekend of School!!!

2010-01-10T18:35:00.002+08:00

Well yeah, its just been the 1st weekend of the school days for 2010!! *clap*clap* =.="

Ok fine, that was lame and so am I beginning to wonder about when I've developed this sense of lameness... So many sources that I could come from.. No pointing here... I don't want to give credit to anyone for lameness xP.

1 thing I can say now is that.. the end of the weekend comes like the end of the holidays... its like losing a break but this comes with homework though.. hehe.

Technically I'm posting this after doing a set of homework that I've gotten which consists of Sejarah(which I did so semangatly.. omgoodness...), English Lit(Dr. Jekyll and Mrs Hyde*Pn Pauline) and Moral(which was nonetheless...? Boring duhh). So much time taken off from all that.. I asked for it didn't I? Heh.

What more can I say? Can't wait for PMR to come... all I'm doing is like telling it "Come hit me!" I do not know why but I'm just overflowing with confidence for all the exams to come even though I'm not expect straight A's for all the exams that are to come except for the PMR which will be held around October...

Trying to keep the postings constant. Nothing more for this I guess.

God Bless.

1st day of school!! Whee~! =.="

2010-01-04T17:19:00.002+08:00

Well, 1st day of school is today, all went well, with one of the lamest and a senior teacher in our school as our Science(yay!) and Class teacher(yay!)!! The best thing that ever happened today was that our dear Keng Kwan, was elected Class Monitor again and he has the best assistant in the world! Believe me! We agree on that! He got How Yeow Peng!! xD Best election of the year duhh!

The rest of the day was as dull as a grey pavement again... what can we do? Just gotten our time table today, no studies, no fun... Only listening what the teacher has to crap about...

Oh yea, I OBVIOUSLY nearly(aww...) slept when the Sejarah teacher was explaining his part... which was really BOAR-eeng as Sejarah itself... Mmmh.... the best period and teacher we have in our class today was Encik "Syaitan" Sanusi, which is our dear seni teacher who likes to scold everyone "SyaiTAN"... hehehehehe...

Then, scold ended at 2.20... I know all of you morning session-ers will be laughing at this going like"Hahaha!! MBS ends at 2.20!!" WE NEVER WANTED IT TO BE!! Grrr... blame the F6 thing we have in our school!!

I hope that tomorrow will be a better schooling day for all of us... less sleeping in class and more talking in class! xD Teaching will always keep the teachers out of notice when we are "quietly" making noise at the back of the class ^^

Cheers for a better tomorrow!

School, school, school... What?

2010-01-03T22:23:00.002+08:00

Yeah, we all know what day tomorrow is.. No, its not Monday, technically you're right.. but to be more exact.. its actually "School Day"...

What? Why school!??!? My dear precious holidays... why over so soon!? Ridiculous sometimes it may seem, but for some unknown reason, the Earth's unseen forces has taken over the minds of some weak minded students and made them go "Whee~! School is tomorrow!! I can't wait!!"

Oh for goodness sake! Who likes school? Do you? Yeah, I guessed as much, if your answer was "yes", check your brain please xP. Actually, survey(which was never conducted) shows that 80% of the people do not like school... they wanna be back there because of their friends. I've to agree on how true that is..

School, wonder what its gonna be like tomorrow... Prefect duties all over again... Probation all over again... PMR just around the 3rd corner of the year 2-o-1-o.... Goodness, my post is supposed to be fun!! What is this? I find it very dull even when I'm typing this.. jeez... I think it must be the school thingy that makes it this dull...

I can't continue.. its too boring to type.. No need to conclude... School is just the same as this post... To the next holidays!

Cheers!

Happy New Year/Braces!!

2010-01-01T00:59:00.001+08:00

1st of all, happy new year to all of you peeps reading this blog right now and so on so forth... bla bla bla..

Yeah, let's start the day wi.. oops.. YEAR with a good day! So, how's everything? Set up your resolutions yet? Heh. I have not. I just got my braces today... and yeah, it annoyingly hurts... keeps on drooling because my mouth has not gotten used to it.. *grr*. The annoying-ness is really unbearable... Can't get what I mean? Its the kind of annoying-ness that you get when you have food stuck between your teeth, but this.... just can't be taken out.. argh!! Sien lerrr... But good thing is I did not have to do an extraction and I only braced my upper set of teeth. Nothing else, just permanent braces for a MINIMUM of 6 months. So, my current and only resolution is to be able to eat SOFT FOOD for a whole week or more until my teeth gets used to the braces. Whats yours?

HAPPY 2010! 1995-ians, PMR IS HERE!! STUDY!!

Next Year PMR!! Start Studying!!

2009-12-18T03:21:00.002+08:00

ARGHH!!!! Don't you just hate the cries of your parents going like : "!! GO STUDY!! NEXT YEAR PMR!! MUST GET STRAIGHT A's ARRR!!".

How'd you think about that?? Hah! My mom just does it most of the time. Well, as you guys and girls know that I mostly spend my time on the computer, playing games and Facebooking(Obviously!). So when dear mom finds out, ah, there that sentence comes!

Well, in my good and honest opinion, PMR isn't something really important for me, its just like a stepping stone or to others, a split road which lets you choose which stream you want to go for, which will determine your career in your future, which is mostly a waste of time because, we focus more on which course we take in our University.

OK, I'm going to Malacca this very day that I'm typing this which is at 3:30 a.m on the 18th of December.. WHICH, reminds me to say "Happy Birthday Cousin, its your 10th year of life!"

Guess this'll be the end of my post.

Good day friends and siblings in Christ.

Hmmph...

2009-12-15T21:20:00.005+08:00

Well, I have no idea what urged me to come back to post this on my blog... but I feel just this sene of guilt for not going on my blog for a looooong time as all of you have known.

Basically, YA! Camp 2009 - Torchbearers was just OVER! I'd have to say that there's a slight relief of it being over, and that is I do not have to persevere with the cold weather and the freezing nights over at Peacehaven. Heh.

So... Let's go to what we did there eh? Before I start, the pics are all in my Facebook, so you know yeah! All his talks were primally based on Ephesians.

The speaker for the camp this year was Yoshua Chua, most MBSSKLians who attended Jr. Chapel and CF should know I guess. I'd have to admit he did a great job speaking to us. 5 talks were given on which on how we should be Torchbearers for the Lord. I can't remember what all the topics on which he summarised the BIG topic. All I know was that he asked to sort out our characteristics - at which I concluded myself as a "Sanguine phlegmatic extrovert" from my experience at the Chapel Committee Retreat. - 1st talk -2nd day

2nd talk was on "Knowing the Flame" capital F - which basically is knowing about who GOD is, who is He to us and what we are to Him. After that, he challenged us to the Altar Call for the following day during his 3rd talk, which was on the Spirit. -2nd talk - 2nd day

3rd talk - 3rd day - I heeded the Altar Call, was really a unique experience.. Seriously, I did'nt know if I should actually step forth and take the calling... but my legs just walked itself out and kneeled RIGHT THERE!! By all means, I'd have to claim that it was God's will that moved me right there at that time.. Lord I give You my heart, I give You my soul. I worship thee alone.

4th talk - 3rd day - This talk was on how we should keep the Flame/Him burning within us. Yoshua did well on this talk, he showed us what we should all do, especially during his 1st or 2nd talk(I can't remember) at which he said we should no longer CONFORM to the world!! So, people, do not conform any longer!!

5th talk - 4th day - The last talk from Yoshua and the last day of camp. Early in the morning at 7.30 a.m. so you could've said 50% of my attention was on how I should find a comfortable place to sleep.. hehehe.. The topic was on how we should spread the Fire to other people, so yeah, I guess you guys/girls should know what that means.

Now, for the SPECIAL NIGHT!! Aww... it has to be the best part of the camp in my honest opinion. The skits presented were definitely good! Oh! Oh!! And then there was the Beauty Paegent - HAHAHAHAHAHA - My whole group deserves to thank Joel, Uncle Gan and especially dear Sean Yee for getting the us the 1st place for this! Yeah! Superman for the win! We really owe Sean the thanks for having the guts to go up dressed in 10/10 Superman style!

After that, overall winners for Games, Skit and the Beauty Paegent went to us!! Oh my goodness!! Can you believe it!! Superly overjoyed at the announcment made my ZX. Hehe!! Amazingly enough, we won by just a 1 MARK lead from the 2nd place. Its surely err... Wow!?
___________________________________________________

Ah! I guess words aren't enough to describe this experience from the YA! Camp 2009. So, head on to my Facebook and go view, view, view the pictures there!

God Bless!

Oh Dear, When did I return now?

2009-08-11T14:53:00.002+08:00

Yep, for the past few MONTHS(yes MONTHS!) I just did'nt have the feeling or any inspiration to blog about and now I just have this urge that keeps bugging me to blog... lolz.. sounds weird eh?

For the past few months... so many things happen... AGMs, Annual Dinners, PROTEMs elected... KKG that I still have not started on, finished my Wood work for KH(it sucked) and so many more things that I forgot(also a possibility that there isn't any more).

This Friday... I'll definitely blog about my 3d,2n trip to Ipoh!! So many nice things to do! Like go out to eat Ipoh Hor Fun, play cards in the hotel, see my school's debate team debate against Ave Maria and Drama(competition?) with St Michael's. Oooo sounds cool right?? Yep, getting excited over the few coming days! Can't wait for it! I really hope that I'd get enough pics and batts for my cam on this trip... And still waiting for the Annual Prefect's Dinner to be uploaded on my friend's facebook(yep, I have FB now, so add me yeaa) so I can use it on my blog and put 1 that I'm in as my prof. pic. If you wanna see the pics that has been uploaded so far.. go to www.all-thats-from-me.blogspot.com its Edward Siew :D

Peace! ^^v <----

A Trilogy: End of Hols, Start of School, What is to come.

2009-06-15T20:11:00.002+08:00

Yeah, as all the other school guys/girls feel, the end of the holidays is really something like a tragedy to us. School, how to define it?? Boring? Hmm.... Let's move on shall we?

First day of school, what can I say? Results day perhaps(For some papers)? My results aren't that good nor was it so bad, at least I got a 70 for Sej XD. Feeling great about it, screwed BM as usual, 72 for Geo(dang, not again?? O.o), waiting for my Literature paper for English. Teacher is keeping it for other days... maybe teacher wants to put me under pressure because I'm the leading one in English in my class, if I do not get an A, so does the whole class... it feels like the whole world is putting all the burdens upon my shoulder.. Aargghh!! I hate this!

The last part of the 'Trilogy", what is to come?? oooooo.... Seriously, I have no idea. All I want now is the August Hols(or is it Sept??). 3 Months more to my birthday, so please remember to but me gifts :P(jay kay). Oh, and do pray for my upcoming results if you are reading this before I get the rest of my results haha.

P.S.
Facebook or not? So many people are asking me to get a Facebook acc.. no idea what to do. Tell me :)

Tag, Tag, Tag, Tag

2009-06-05T23:48:00.005+08:00

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answer, enter yours, and tag twenty people. Use the first letter of you name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real... nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers, you cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/ girl name question.

1. What is your name : Kieran Ng
2. A four Letter Word : kick? so many more
3. A boy's Name : Kenneth!
4. A girl's Name : Karen(sounds like me??)
5. An occupation : Karate instructor?? *for a list of funny ones click here
6. A color : Kiwi green
7. Something you'll wear : Khakis
8. A food : Kailan?
9. A place : Kenya
10. A reason for being late : Keys left at home
11. Something you'd shout : KILLAA!!!
12. A movie title : King Kong =.=
13. Something you drink : Keo lager(heard before??)
14. A musical group : Korn
15. An animal : Kangaroo
16. A street name : King Street, England
17. A type of car : KIA
18. The title of a song : Knowing me, knowing you - Fleetwood Mac

People who are tagged!
1. Andrew Wong(must tag)

2. Hong Aan Lee

3. Soon Zhi Fern(tag u back!)

4. Muqriz(demanded to be tagged)

K lar, dowan tag too many.. if not all want kenakan me.

Chapel Retreat(or re-treat) 2009

2009-05-31T17:49:00.002+08:00

Hey guys and girls!

My apologies for not posting for a very long time because I have nothing to post about(awww?)

But a new topic came up!! yay! claps, whatever!

So yeah, chapel retreat just finished today, it was on the 29th of May and it ended on the 31st! 3 days 2 nights.

Pics taken, wanna see? Next post kay? I promise.

The retreat was worthwhile going to it, but unfortunately, Addison couldn't come because he was down with high fever, or else it would have been merrier.

The schedule for the retreat was reaaalllyyy scarryy... Session all the way! No time to go to the beach(FYI, we went to N.U.B.E PD). But it was cool, brother Danial and his talks was cool, especially the career talk. In the end, we managed to get to go to the beach, how nice, Li Yang helping all of us get wet by grabbing us from head to toe and dropping us into the sea. Arrrghh...

Yesterday night(and today morning) was the best part where all of the CC and CF members(some actually) came together for a supposed-to-be-games time but in the end it became a BGR talking session. We naturally split ourselves up without knowing why and we kept on switching here and there. In the end, me, Jeremy Yon, Daniel Tong and Kar Wai settled down at the slides(the playground thing) and began discussing so many things. I did not know how it started but we suddenly when sooo deep into discussing about God's grace. It was a very sleeeepyy night but somehow, during the discussion, we felt some kind of outside energy and a really encouraging and joyous feeling come into us. I really felt God was there. He was there to support us and encourage us when we shared our thoughts and experiences.

So, overall, the retreat was really a good place to be and it was really a great experience overall.

Thats all for now, wait for my next post where the pics will be in :)

With love.

My Exam results.... SUCKED~!

2009-03-27T20:29:00.002+08:00

Yeah, as the title says... my exam results.. wait, do I have to repeat it??? I don't even want to say it..

Wanna know my exam results? I can tell you that it is really unbelievable to expect out of a 1st Grade(cheh... perasan laa) student like me ok?? Lol..

I receieved 9 papers so far at which I still have NO A's(WAT THE???) Only 3 C's and 6 B's zzzzz...

The C's:

BM: 58(C) Comments: Kay... not too bad right? But it still sucks

Maths: 60(C) Comments: I was expecting a minimum of 73.. so you can say that I'm quite heartbroken with my results in this... Points deducted because of working and not telling the answer belongs to which part?? Hahahaha...

IT:58(C) Comments: I actually got 54 for this but teacher gave us 4 extra marks because he see us so kesian all the marks sooo loww... haha... But I would've appreciated an A for this because I wanna major IT since I wanna pick up Computer Science and Programming...

The B's:

-The 73's

Geografi: This is 1 of the papers that I REAAAALLLEEE expect to score and A for.. but 73 ain't bad enough right?? Seriously... my A was screwed because of 1 stupid bearing mistake! ARRGH!!

PJK: This 1 was quite easy and no expectations of an A... outside of PMR results.. unimportant.

Moral: Bahh!! can't blame this 1 laa... not an easy paper to score with right?? Agree??

-The others

Sejarah: I was shocked with the results... 68 wow!! I almost slept in the exam but I got 68!! Unbelievable...

KH: Right on the dot.. 65.. I was expecting more or less around that... I HATE KH!!

The other B I think is Seni... Do NOT I repeat.. DO NOT ask me about... I do not wanna know my results for it but all I know is that my drawing scored a 18/25 :P

So... my results ain't so bad after all isn't it?? But its still bad for me..

MY HOPE FOR AN 'A' LIES ON???

English and Science(every1 says their science did badly.. too bad!! I'm confident I won't get a C)!

FRIM #2

2009-03-22T14:20:00.001+08:00

Ok... I can't find my cam... zzzzzz........ the pictures I don't have aiyaaa... But do not worry!! I have a church mate who has all(Ok, maybe not all but SOME) of the pics. Want the link? Yes, I might've guessed because I did not link him.

Just click here all right?

FRIM!!

2009-03-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

Oh yay! Tomorrow going FRIM so nice... Got canopy walk.... play in river(LOL???). But whatever I'm looking forward is the canopy walk. Its really gonna be worth it. Walking on that looooooooooong bridge which is very shakey >.<... Ok, I'm abit scared about it but don't worry, I have the guts to do it wahahaha!!! I'll bring a cam there. Let the cam do the talking while I do the walking :)

KLPAC Wicked Wizards

2009-03-14T21:31:00.003+08:00

Yeah! Today I went with my school to KLPAC. Really old place which was 100 over years old. As old or older than my school wow!

I went there to watch this so called 'play' but it ended up being a magic show. But so what? It was worth the money. Their tricks were amazing!! We always watch magic tricks on TV and so on and that we think that all these are camera tricks. From what I experienced from Wicked Wizards was that it was never tricks but it was from the speed of their hands and their cunning and yet funny ways that they conduct their act.

One of the best illusion I saw they made was the bowling ball. Seriously... all he did was draw a bowling ball on a sheet of drawing block. Then all of a sudden, he just flicked his arm and a bowling ball dropped out of the drawing block and when he opened the drawing block... the drawing of the balls was gone(he turned the drawing block before. There was not a lump there). Amazing tricks these guys did. Well, it was a personal experienced held in a theatre so I did'nt have a chance to take pictures.

Other tricks was really scary. I can hear the teachers at the seats behind me saying "I dowana see that!, is he really gonna put that nail into his eye?, AARH!! I dowan seeeee...."

They also performed a David Copperfield trick. Exactly alike. I really had a great experience. To you dear readers who didn't see it.. Too bad. You guys probably missed one of the best magic shows ever performed!

Exams over, SPM Results, Holiday.. What more?

2009-03-13T21:46:00.002+08:00

Yay! Exams over already! So happy!! Last papers were very promising. Simple and easy. Left over time?? No problem!! Sleep only ma!Day before that slept at 11.30-12.00 because I so kan cheong that exam over the next day? haha! Exam over that day also was the SPM results. Sadly to say, the SPM results of my school.... was not up to my expectations. My school only got 2-3 straight As(not A1s). Straight A1s also have... Issac Tay lor!

See his blog: www.isaactay.blogspot.com.

Today, Friday the 13th... (zzz...) Unlucky day hor! Now i posting this at 9 something, bad 'luck' supposed to be over... but mine just started... As for others, they will celebrate the ending of the exams, the holiday that just started by going out, lepak, CC, DotA what more?

Tomorrow going to Wicked Wizards at KLPAC. School trip for Drama Club, form 4 and 5 C and K. Sounds nice right the play? If you all had read the recent papers... then you all will know about it.

So, yeah, I realise that I do not blog often since my laptop went KABOOM!(because I killed it..[not with a knife or a gun.. but with a press of a button]). I'm trying to get my posts to be longer and pray that I do get my blogging talents back(like lol?).

------------------------Post ends here-----------------------------------

Waa! Got format wan o.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS READERS!!!

EXAMS! AAA!!!

2009-03-05T08:32:00.001+08:00

Yeah, exams tommorow.... How?

So, like, exams what to do? I've never been studying like any ordinary guy you know. Who studies la! Exam till Thursday some more. I know most of you only 3 days. So good? Lucky la!

Pity me please :D. This is actually quite a short post. I'm just asking your help to PRAY for me to help me study and to get A's for my exam. Going to 1st class next year. New aim :D.

1st papers are BM2, Sivik(stupid waste of time subject) and IT.

Help me yea!

Setting off to work on a new War3 Map

2009-02-20T23:07:00.003+08:00

Ok, if you are shocked to see this, I understand. I never told any of you that I'm actually a Warcraft 3 map creater. I just started this committment recently and hey! I'm getting good at this. So, 1st of all, I'd like to say, if you want me to make maps for you guys, tell me, I will do it for you and I'll try my best to make it up to your standards. I have not learnt JASS but I'm using basic GUI and slowly learning more and more.

Next, I'm setting off to work on a new map. Now, all must be wondering "What map?". Lemme give you a clue, its a very famous game that you see around a cyber cafe.

Now, I'll give you sometime to place your guess and see if it is right ok?

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

.........

..........

...........

............

.............

..............

Ok, I hope that you have placed your guess, and if you got your guess right, please find me and tell me to give you 10 cents for the correct guess.

The map I'm creating is.....

Left 4 Dead most commonly known as L4D. If you think: "Hey! You gonna get sued by Valve for doing it". I assure you, nothing is gonna happen because it is a Warcraft 3 Map and it is really different from what the real game might be. It is not FPS, the map is totally different although you can spot some similarities and that is to make the game LIKE the real game so that others might be interested.

My job sounds interesting right?

Map making isn't easy, but its good to kill time and it is really fun!

P.S.

Boomer and Smokers are working fine now :D.

KL/PJ SCF Leader's Convention '09!

2009-02-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

Yay! Yesterday was the KL/PJ SCF Leader's Convention. (To make it short, I'll call it the CF Conv. from here forth)

I went for the 1st time, T-shirt design was great when it look soooo gay on John's notebook.. Had to say I had a great time there except ushering all those people coming in. I stand at the guard house all those people coming for the CF Conv. drive inside there look at me I look at them I find them laughing. Like, hey! I'm made to do this! I didn't want to!

Andrew and Deb was MC. We should all pity Andrew a lot coz he got a lot of 'L's from the whole crowd. Try to be funny in the end he becomes the joke wahahaha! Poor him!

Ok! Worship session. A great song picking job done by Dan Tong. The worship was excellent! 10/10 rating! 1st year come to CF Conv. and I experienced the best worship session ever! You all who never come, too bad la! Especially Tmn Melawati people! Hope you read this Lem!

At the end of the conv. all sad lorr... like Deb say. All the people there put on their QQ faces and hoping that next year's convention comes ASAP. Man, I also want lor!

Pics? What pics? Oh! CF Conv. Pics is it? Wait for the photographer to upload and I upload to my blog. Me and Dennis' pose for the win!

A thought of mine, what happens after this batch? Worship team change to another school? The Christians in my school reducing!!! Less people in CF and Chapel... My batch is the last batch that has a full team for the convention.. What happens after? My thought wanders around here. All I can say is that I need your help to pray for my school and other schools too! Tmn Melawati also getting less! CF needs to grow! So start praying readers!